She snorts. “You think it’s difficult here? You wouldn’t survive a single day there.”
I blink at her, more confused than ever.
“There’s two different kinds of strength,” the nurse says, looking away from me for a minute. She continues picking at something on the knee of her scrubs. “You’re resilient. You should have broken bones in a fall like that, last night.”
I let out a choked laugh that makes the bones and muscles in my torso scream. “Call it practice.”
Her face darkens a moment, and I have to elaborate. “I just … I have pretty rowdy brothers.”
“Pretty rowdy? Are you sure …”
“Please, don’t get the wrong idea,” I say, quickly. “There are four of them. It just got a little crazy. Sometimes they forgot I wasn’t like them.”
“And now look who’s forgotten?” she says, getting as close to actually acknowledging my little farce as she dares. At least, without actually acknowledging it.
I look over at her and feel a tightening in my stomach. “Are you going to tell anyone?”
“Tell anyone what?” she says at first, but then leans a little closer in and can’t help the shadow of a grin from breaking across her face. “Your secret’s safe with me, Alex. Call it nurse-patient confidentiality.”
Then she sits back and slaps her hands on the ends of her knees. “But if anyone asks, I knew nothing.”
“You can claim I have a micro-penis.”
It’s her turn to laugh. It comes out as a bark so loud she has to cover her mouth.
I laugh too. “I’d like to see them ask to see proof.”
There’s a knock at the door and both of us fall silent as a boy steps in with a clipboard to hand off to the nurse. I quickly grab my shirt to cover myself—only to find it’s not there. I half freeze, prepared to roll off the edge of the bed to hide—but the boy barely bats an eye at me.
The nurse gets up to take the paperwork, and I take a quick glance down at my chest. It’s been bound so tight and that no sign of breasts exists. Whatever’s left of them after not eating for weeks now has been shoved up into my armpits or flattened down under the extra layers of gauze.
I feel gratitude swell inside me as I glance back up at the nurse shooing the boy back out of the room. I can’t believe I came to this school thinking I could pull this off by myself.
Even more so, however, I can’t believe I’ve been so lucky to find the help I have.
The nurse must be able to tell I’m about to cry or something, because she clears her throat and puts on a matronly expression.
“You’re going to need to get some extra rest. Those bandages aren’t going to feel right for a while, so you should probably stay in the infirmary while you adjust.”
“Adjust?”
“Get used to them,” she says. “You’re going to be spending the better part of the semester wrapped up.”
I raise an eyebrow. “A whole semester?”
“If you’re lucky.” Once again, the slightest smile tugs at the corner of her mouth before she forces her expression serious again. “Who knows, it might be the whole year.”
That slight hint of mirth fades further as she looks me over.
“You’re sure you fell down the stairs?”
I know what she’s asking. I also know that even if it wasn’t the truth, even if I explained the circumstances leading up to it … even if Jasper or Heath or Beck had picked me up and thrown me down those stairs themselves … it wouldn’t change anything.
So I just shake my head.
“It was no one’s fault but my own,” I say.
She nods and picks up the chart, about to head out and leave me alone in the infirmary. But before she leaves, I stop her in the doorway with one last question.