I wish that version of him was with us again, but I know as I look at my two boys, who are watching Astor walk away with Victoria, that they miss him even more than I do.
“You’d think we never mattered to him at all,” Blair says quietly, with a sullen voice.
“Right,” Wills answers him. “Like we haven’t all three been best friends since the womb. Now it’s just … gone. It’s like we mean nothing to him.”
I feel a wave of guilt and my shoulders fall. “It’s because of me. I’m so sorry.”
Wills grabs my face in his hands and shakes his head. “Don’t say that! Never say that, and never think it. You aren’t forcing us. This is our choice. This is where we want to be.”
“He’s right,” Blair says. “There’s nothing that we wouldn’t do for you. We lost you before because of Victoria, and that is never going to happen again.” He’s earnest, leaning in and kissing my cheek.
They both wrap
their arms around me, and I hold them close.
“I am never going to lose you again either. I couldn’t bear it,” I vow to them. “I’m keeping you. Always.”
Chapter 13
I hang up from a call with Eli Hamilton, and plop down onto my bed, falling back into the pillows and groaning sadly as I stare up at the ceiling. After the win with the dance theme last week, this new bit of news shouldn’t affect me so. But still, it does.
Dana looks up from her homework at her desk and pulls her headphones off. “You okay? What’s going on?”
I turn my head and look over at her dejectedly. “That was Eli. He said I won’t be able to get into Columbia after all.”
He tried to get me in. He pulled strings, he called in old favors; the works, but it still wasn’t enough.
It wouldn’t matter so much if both Wills and Blair weren’t going there. Wills got the news before the New Year. I’ve been waiting to hear back ever since. I knew the delay was a bad sign.
“What good is being a billionaire if you can’t get into the school that you want?” I moan plaintively, knowing full well that it’s not fair to think of using money and social influence to get into college. I’ve only been on this side of things for a couple weeks, but already, the first thing my mind goes to is corruption.
Dana comes over and sits beside me on the bed, looking down at me. “Don’t get too worried. There are other schools in New York City. Chin up. You’re not totally out of the game yet.”
“Yeah … if I can get into one of the other schools,” I complain, looking back up at the ceiling. “It feels impossible right now.”
I knew community college was the only plan for me. It’s not a bad choice. I don’t mean to slam them, it’s just not … what fits into this sort of life. I once wanted to go just to keep up the facade. Now I have something real to protect.
How am I supposed to lead my father’s legacy without the education to back me?
“It only feels impossible because you’re still feeling the sting of rejection from Columbia. Don’t fret. Just try getting into another school. Don’t stop trying until you get in somewhere.”
“You know, it’s so weird,” I say. “I have a real family now … at least an aunt and uncle who are family, but the boys are my real family.” In fact, if I was being completely honest with myself, I’d say that I still believe that Astor is going to be part of that, at least someday. But I can’t tell Dana that. She’d call me crazy, or a masochist for suffering. “I have got to get in somewhere close to my boys. It’s the only option.”
The terms of my trust require me to finish college before I can inherit full control of my inheritance. I think it’s best to make that happen as fast as possible. There’s no guarantee that my new aunt Ellen is going to get less crazy, and I don’t know how many Christmases I can handle before I snap.
Dana gives me an encouraging hug. “It’ll work out. Trust me.”
I sigh. “I guess so.” I don’t feel like I have many options, but I know that she’s right.
“Well seriously though … the money and the name might get you further than you think. You have more influence now that I think you realize. Why not check in with your uncle? I mean, it’s worth a shot, right? The worst he can do is say no.”
Dana gives me a nudge, and I get up off of the bed.
“You’re absolutely right. He’s got to have some ideas or connections or something. Thanks Dana!” I feel lighter and more hopeful already. If there’s one thing that I’m sure of, it’s that Dane would like nothing better than to use his influence in my favor.
A short phone call confirms my suspicions. It’s short and to the point, ending with Dane’s promise to help in whatever way he can.
“Well if anyone can, it’d be him,” Dana says, after I hang up from the call. She sounds as certain as I feel. “You know, with all the money and power that the Whites have, I always wondered why Sadie went to public school. It’s obvious why you were there, but why was she there? Why didn’t her parents have her in private school from the very beginning?”