“So?” she asks, breathless. “What was that all about?”
“With Astor?” I say, then relay the conversation we had in my bedroom. I try to keep it short, because I can see she’s itching to tell me something of her own. She’s always easy to read in that way.
I let go a heavy sigh, right at the end of it. “I just wish he’d let go of Victoria and choose me. He just … won’t. He’s too obsessed with, I don’t know, maintaining the family legacy or whatever. I guess a parentless orphan doesn’t fit into that plan.”
It takes me a minute to push the dark look off my face and ask Dana what’s so obviously weighing on her mind. Her hands have been twitching anxiously in her lap this entire time, but now, suddenly they still.
She looks uncomfortable. “Well, actually, maybe now isn’t the best time.”
“What?” I ask, laughing darkly. “Did you find out something about my parents or something?”
She’s silent for a moment, and I dart forward to the end of the bed. “Tell me. Now.”
“Well, I asked my dad to look into it, even though you said not to.”
I nod. “Of course.” My heart has started racing now.
“It’s not good news.” Dana looks more than sorry, as she tells me what I already knew in my heart. My mother was a drug addict and some kind of sex worker, from the look of things. She died of an overdose just days after I was born, but not before she left me in foster care without so much as a hint at who my father might be.
With a career like hers, I doubt even she knew.
I’ve expected this sort of thing, but now that I know it for sure … it settles heavy in the pit of my stomach. Astor was right. He couldn’t ever be with me. Not with a family history like that.
“You know,” I say, “it’s sort of ironic. I was given life by someone who died in the same way that Sadie passed away, and then I stole Sadie’s life. Highly appropriate.”
Dana eyes me in concern. “You’re taking this surprisingly well.”
I sigh. “Well, I’m disappointed of course,” I admit, “but it’s just a big whatever. I mean, obviously it doesn’t change a thing, so I’m not going to worry about it.”
Dana nods. “I think that’s wise. Are you mad at me for looking into it?”
I give her a half smile. “No. You were curious, and so was I. Now I never have to wonder.”
“Well, you might not have had it good before, but that’s all changed now.” She raises her eyebrows at me. “From the little gaps in your story about this weekend, I have a feeling Blair and Wills are taking very good care of you.”
I squeal a little and hit her playfully on the arm. “Dana!” I exclaim, but the blush on my cheeks is the only confirmation she needs.
It feels strange to sleep alone in my bed for the first time in five nights. Except for the encounter with Astor in my room, I wouldn’t change a moment of the last weekend for anything. It takes a couple days to get used to the old routine back at school, but thankfully this year I’m not the only one struggling to keep up. Between his own sports and classes, Wills and I end up spending all of our free time together studying for our last shot at the SAT. Neither of us says as much, but we’re both worried. Dana sits beside us quizzing us at all hours until even Blair can recite all her flash cards from memory—which he does, so often that I’m pretty sure I’m going to start dreaming in formulas.
On top of it all, we have midterms coming up and a science project due that I may or may not have forgotten about all semester. Thankfully, Dana did too … and we beg our teacher until he reluctantly agrees, with both Blair and Wills staring on from the doorway, to allow us to do it together.
Now that I have the boys back, I don’t really need—or have time for—the distractions of the other clubs I joined. I take one afternoon to slip back down to the drama club and tell them I won’t be back, and I’m pleasantly surprised by how upset everyone is. I know it’s partly because, ever since Blair came back to my side, it’s like the school-wide “Teddy” ban has been lifted. I went there determined to quit, and leave with the promise I’ll be back after the new year.
I’d planned on heading straight to the library, but as she’s want to do, Victoria corners me on the way.
This time, I’m prepared. I check for her goons, Laura and Ashley, ready to strike from around the corner—but seeing nothing, turn back and give her a no-nonsense look.
“What is it this time?” I ask, not trying to hide the disinterest in whatever it is she has to say.
So long as she doesn’t try to get in the way of my test tomorrow, I really don’t care. It’s been nearly a week and a half since we were forced to speak to each other at the Rashnikov’s house, and I’ve really enjoyed it. I could happily not speak to her forever.
If she’d just leave me alone.
She levels a cool gaze at me. “I want to know what happened between you and Astor over Thanksgiving.”
My heart skips a beat, but I look at her casually and speak with an even tone. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Victoria grows bitter. “Yes, you do. He hasn’t touched me since then, and I am not blind, Teddy. I see the way he sneaks looks at you.”