“Look, I only came here to talk with Astor, Wills, and Blair. I didn’t come to crash your party, and I’m not here to stay. As soon as I’ve said what I came here to say, I’ll leave,” I tell her, hoping that it will be enough to sway her from her insane game plan.
It’s not.
“I don’t care why you’re here. You showed up uninvited and unwelcomed, and you’re going to pay the price for it. There’s no getting out of it!” She flings her hate-filled words at me.
Even a few party-goers standing by overhear her tone and exchange a look. It’s clear this sort of thing’s been done before … but all in good fun. I see another group of girls look my way, point, and whisper amongst themselves. I’ve been recognized. It doesn’t matter if this is supposed to be in good fun, I realize, if they all turn against me.
I have no choice but to play along before that happens. I swallow hard. I’ve played a little before...but I was never any good. I can’t let Victoria see me quail under her bitter glare, so I lift my chin and try to keep my hands from shaking.
“You’re on,” I tell her with false confidence. Unless I’m mistaken, and I must be, I think the three boys share a worried look.
“You’re going to lose.” Victoria grins coldly, and we take our places at the table.
The game begins, and the crowd around us grows so incredibly loud that I can barely hear myself think. I start off poorly, and I just go downhill from there. I make sure to drink only from an untampered beer bottle that never leaves my sight, but it’s still not long at all before I’m buzzed. I didn’t plan on getting drunk, but there’s no helping it if I can’t make a goddamned shot. I learned once already that being drunk around Victoria is the absolute last position that I need to put myself in.
It’s really no contest. I didn’t even need to play to know I was going to lose.
As soon as she sinks her last, flawless shot, Victoria crows her victory—as does the entire crowd around us. The boys all look livid and stony-faced, but they do nothing to stop her. I feel like the end of my life is staring me in the face again. The shallow sliver of hope that she might not actually make me do it is completely dashed when she points her finger at me and yells out above the entire party.
“Go outside, strip down completely, and do a lap around the house!”
Everything in me freezes. She means it. There’s no way out of it. The crowd around me starts pushing me toward the door and Victoria orders her two personal minions, Laura and Alisha, to strip me at the door.
I don’t want to give them the pleasure, but this costume doesn’t come off easy. I tell them to be careful, that it belongs to the drama department, but they aren’t listening, and they don’t care. They are only about me having to be humiliated in front of everyone.
It wouldn’t be the first time. The boys tried to do something similar to me last year in the mineral baths, but at least I had a towel then. This time, I have nothing. Eventually I’m left, standing naked without even the wig to help hide my shame, on the front porch. Victoria and the others all crowd around the door, watching as I look back at them and raise an eyebrow.
“I hope you like what you’re seeing,” I say, my false confidence the only thing hiding the part of me that’s dying right now.
Victoria makes a little twirling motion with her fingers.
“You know the drill. Get to it.”
There’s no getting out of it. I thought the nakedness was bad enough, but there’s something about running around the house that takes it to a whole new level of humiliation.
I do the lap as far from the house and as close to all the bushes and trees that I can, but I can see faces pressed to the glass, looking on. I’m so focused on getting this whole thing over with that I don’t think it’s odd that I don’t run into anyone outside until it’s too late.
When I get back to the front door, I discover that it’s locked. Everyone else is inside, looking out, laughing at me. I’m very buzzed, freezing cold, and close to sobbing. I pound on the door, the windows, the back porch … but no one will let me in.
I know that I’ve been had. There’s no way they’re going to open the door for me, and the longer that I stay outside and beg and cry, the longer they’re going to laugh at me and force me to remain in this horrible, nightmarish situation.
The only thing I can do to save myself is to run away from the house. I take off with tears streaming down my face and the harsh earth grinding into my feet. I go as fast as I can, staying as hidden as possible, grateful for the woods between the mansion and the school. It’s both a blessing and a curse that it’s dark outside. I feel more hidden, but I can barely see where I’m running, and I know I’m getting scraped up as I go.
I somehow make it back to the school even though I am basically blinded by tears the whole way. As soon as I turn into the grounds, I can see the corner dorm room I share with Dana. The light is on, which means she’s still up.
She probably hasn’t even started to worry about me, and somehow, that makes it worse. I might not have outright lied to her about where I was going, but it feels like I did. I’d promised myself I wouldn’t do this again, but here I am.
I can’t go back. Not like … this.
I’m trying to make up my bleary, drunk mind about where to go when I spot two security officers walking not far off, doing their rounds. Rather than get caught streaking, I duck into the closest building.
I close the door behind me, grateful that it’s nearly dark in here. I’ve found myself back exactly where I am supposed to be, if I’d told Dana the truth. The only lights here are the ones shifting color beneath the surface of the water.
I drop to my knees beside the still water, and sob, feeling as if the entire world has crashed in around me. All I wanted to do was talk to the boys. My boys. My friends. I didn’t mean to get in Victoria’s way, and yet she is so cruel and cold-hearted that she could try to ruin me and hurt me this badly.
My intoxicated mind just keeps turning over and over. I know I’m never going to get over this. I don’t know how I am ever going to face anyone again.
As the tears keep rolling out of my eyes, all I can see is the tranquil, pristine blue of the water in the pool, glowing and inviting. I don’t remember making the conscious decision to get in, but then suddenly, I am.