She turns and looks at her husband, who has somehow deflated during all this. “Let her keep it. Sadie isn’t going to use it. It’s already paid.” Her husband starts to open his mouth again, surely to shout something more about how I’m a liar and a horrible person, aka, the truth, but she slams her palm down on the principal’s desk to quiet him.
“Can’t you let me have just this one thing, John?” she says, her voice a hard, almost dangerous whisper. “I killed our daughter. I won’t let you say otherwise. You know it’s true. You know she’d be alive now if it weren’t for … weren’t for …” she takes a moment to get ahold of herself. “I need this. Do it for me, if you won’t do it for her.”
Mr. White doesn’t say anything right away. Then, when he does speak, all he says is, “So long as she pays off the account. That’s my only stipulation.”
I feel lightheaded. My knees go weak beneath me, and I have to grab onto the arm of the chair for support.
“I don’t … I can’t …”
Dr. Baxter sighs and shakes his head. “I’m afraid Theodora is right. We really can’t just let her stay on. There’s a lot that’s gone on here. So many questions that need answers … let alone we’d need the permission of her guardian …”
“Like she’d dare refuse,” Mrs. White snaps. She turns sharply and reaches for her purse. “Dr. Baxter, I know how these things work.” She pulls her checkbook out and lays it on the desk before him. Mr. White’s eyes grow wide, but he knows better than to say anything now. As do I.
I press my lips together and barely dare to breathe.
“How much of a donation would you say is about right to clear this whole matter up?”
Mr. White finally finds his voice. “Are you sure?” This time, there’s nothing but softness there.
She nods. “I am.”
Dr. Baxter wipes his hand over his face and sighs as he sits down. “I suppose the board might overlook it if there were a donation involved.”
The rest of the details are a blur.
Somehow, by the time Sadie’s parents stand up to leave, I’m officially a student here at Hawthorne Academy. This time, it’s under my own name.
Dr. Baxter gives me, quite possibly, the harshest talking to of my life … but I can’t even pretend to listen. When I walk back out those doors, it’s as Teddy Price. No more lies. No more secrets.
I stand in the foyer and watch as several groups of students walk by. They huddle closer and whisper to one another, their eyes flitting over to me as they disappear down the hall. If there is a ‘blacklist’ my name, my real name, is sure to be on it.
It’s going to be different now.
Ms. Martin might not be able to blackmail me, but she’ll find other ways to make my life miserable. I’ll be going home to see her for Christmas in just a couple weeks, and I know there’ll be hell to pay. There’s no chance of anything else now. No one else will have me.
No Astor. No Wills. No Blair.
As if I conjured them myself, all three enter the foyer alongside Victoria on the way to their first classes. They don’t even look at me. In the span of one day, I’ve gone from their everything to absolutely nothing. I can’t just let this happen. I find myself stumbling forward into their path. I have to try, at least once, to beg their forgiveness.
“Astor!”
He doesn’t respond. I say it again, and this time, I plant myself directly in front of him so he has to stop.
His head faces forward, his eyes firmly refusing to look down into mine.
“Please,” I say, “please just hear me out.”
Victoria steps up. “Shouldn’t you be packing your things?”
I stare straight forward up at Astor, and he just keeps staring straight ahead.
“No,” I say, “I get to stay.”
Her face screws up in an ugly mask. “What? No. Astor, do something about it. You can’t let her stay!”
Astor just moves to the side and brushes me out of the way. He takes several steps forward, then pauses without looking back.
“Stay. Go. I don’t care what she does. After all, why would I?” He walks on ahead, his voice echoing back across the vaulted hall. “I don’t know her.”