I don’t stop crying the whole way up to my room, or through getting changed, or even running back down a different staircase. I try to focus my mind on where I need to be. I can’t think of what I just saw, because every time I do, I have to stop and press my face into my hands so no one passing sees my ugly tears.
I’m nearly to the classrooms when I spot Astor walking alone … and suddenly my emotions shift to indignant rage. I’m no longer hiding—I’m on the warpath. A streaky, snot-nosed and tear-stained warpath … but warpath all the same. Those bastards have gone too far this time.
It’s so rare to see Astor alone, I can’t miss this opportunity. I’ve tried to be Sadie, and look what it’s gotten me. I’ve had it. I’m all Teddy now.
Within seconds I’m behind him. I grab his arm and dig my nails in it, dragging him around to face me.
I have a hundred things to say to him. I have a thousand swears to curse his name. None of them come to the surface. No words can undo what he’s done.
So instead, I use actions.
I’ve never known the devastating power of being on the giving end of a slap before. My hand stings and my shoulders heave, my eyes trained on Astor’s face pointed away from me. A redness springs to his cheek in the shape of an outstretched palm.
In the silence the follows, with his face still twisted away from me in shock, I finally find those words.
“What the hell is your problem, Astor Hawthorne? You are a bully and a spiteful, mean, horrible human being. Don’t you dare come around me again! Ever! I’ve had it with you! Go to hell and take all of your friends with you!”
Fuck their threats. I don’t need them. I’ve never needed anyone.
I spin on my heel to take off, angrier than I have ever been in my whole life. I only begin to realize that I almost said too much, when I feel a strong hand close around my arm, and before I can yank it free, I am hauled around and I’m looking up into Astor’s tormented face.
The redness has started to darken, and I know it’s going to leave a bruise.
Serves him right.
But then, I see something else in that face. He’s not gleeful and gloating. He’s miserable.
He closes his free hand on my other arm and I am locked in his grip. Without a word, he pulls me to
him and kisses me.
It’s a hard kiss, intense and powerful, and I’m so shocked that I go limp. He brings his hands to my face and holds me firmly as he parts my lips with his and kisses me even deeper. I can’t breathe. I can’t think. I can’t move.
A long minute later, Astor breaks the kiss and shoves me away from him. He gives me a cold, bitter stare, and then turns and takes off across the lawn, headed away from me like he’s the one running for his life.
Chapter 15
Even though I ended up making it to detention that night, Mr. Davis could tell something was terribly wrong and ended up letting me leave early. Blair, of course, did not show up. I doubt he ever intended to, or … like Astor … he was ever really expected to.
The holy trinity.
They should be called ‘the untouchable’.
I need a break from their games. I avoid them as much as possible during classes, and my trips between them become a complicated maze that keeps me from running into them. Eventually, even Blair starts giving me some space. His pestering is only fun so long as I show a reaction, and all I have left for him is stony silence.
It turns out I have quite the poker face too.
Dana and I are sitting at breakfast in the dining hall after a couple surprisingly uneventful weeks later when Victoria, followed of course by Alisha and Laura, comes sailing up to me and drops down in the chair at my side.
We haven’t spoken much lately. She, of course, claims she knew nothing about the last horrible prank … but I have my doubts. I really think the reason she hasn’t been hanging out much lately is because Astor hasn’t been anywhere near me in so long … I’m almost half starting to miss him.
Almost.
Dana’s eyes grow wide and her cheeks turn pink at the new addition, and I know she’s struggling with her unrequited love for the school queen. I’ve been working hard to repair my friendship with her. I tried to keep her from the drama that happened, but she of course found out. She forgave me for everything a lot quicker after that.
I ignore Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dumber who are engrossed to fixing their lip liner and focus on Victoria, who is just a little too chipper for this hour of the morning.
“Okay. So,” Victoria starts, and I already know from the tone of her voice that something’s up. “If you’re done being a shut-in, I want you to come to the party this weekend.”