“I can’t believe this is happening. I never imagined…” His voice turned soft and he mumbled things Caroline couldn’t quite make out.
She couldn’t get out of there fast enough. Once in the darkened narrow hallway, her emotions took over. What had she done? For a brief moment, she actually contemplated running back into the apartment and telling Clay she didn’t mean any of it. She would beg for his forgiveness and everything would return to normal. Her mind screamed at her to remove the chaos and pain. It wanted her to go back to where things were comfortable and easy.
She tried to steady her racing heartbeat by breathing in slow, deep breaths. With her hands on her knees, she acknowledged that amidst all of this turmoil, a small part within her dazzled with joy. Her life was no longer a road on a map she could clearly see. She was on a new path, full of endless opportunities and possibilities.
The black iron railing offered support for her trembling hands. Everything she had once planned for and thought she wanted with Clay, disappeared in the distance. And as she watched it all fade away in her mind, she realized that fear was absent. In its place resided hints of excitement. And she knew in that moment that she had done the right thing.
Still trembling, she walked down the three flights of marble stairs to her car. Once safely inside, she called Bailey. “That didn’t take very long,” Bailey noted.
“I know. I thought he would fight with me a lot more, but I think maybe he’s in shock? I don’t know. It was awful. And even though I’m the one who did this, I feel sick to my stomach.”
“Love isn’t all rainbows and unicorns all the time. And neither is life. Sometimes life is really freaking hard.”
“I still feel like shit. Just remind me that I’m not a terrible person, okay?” Caroline trembled.
Bailey’s voice rose in volume and strength. “You’re NOT a terrible person, Caroline Weber. Do you hear me? What would be terrible would be if you married someone you didn’t love with all your heart. That’s not fair to either of you. And it’s selfish.”
Caroline sniffed and her eyes burned. “Thanks, Bails. Be there in five.”
“I’ll wait outside for you.”
Bailey hugged Caroline the moment she exited her car. “I know it’s hard. You’re doing the right thing.”
Caroline tried to nod. “I feel so bad, though. You have no idea.”
“That’s because you’re leaving your comfort zone. You’re leaving the predictable and heading into the unknown. That’s always scary.”
“It’s not that though, Bails. I don’t feel bad for me. I mean, I seriously want to kick my own ass for hurting Clay like this.”
“You could always change your mind.” Bailey let out an exasperated breath.
Caroline winced. “I don’t want to change my mind.”
Bailey smiled. “See. It’s the right thing then. How’s Jackson?”
Caroline sat on Bailey’s oversized sofa chair and curled into a ball. “He’s in a medically-induced coma. His head is so swollen, it’s terrifying. The doctors have to wait for the swelling to go down before they can even try to wake him up.”
“That sounds scary.”
“It was. Seeing him like that—” Caroline shuddered—“was really hard.”
“Did you meet his parents and stuff?”
“They didn’t even know who I was,” Caroline said as her eyes dropped.
“Shit. You’re kidding? I’m sorry, Care.”
Caroline shrugged her shoulders and grabbed a nearby pillow before holding it against her stomach. “I just didn’t expect that, you know?”
Bailey’s eyes lit up as she put the pieces together. “Is that why you came back so soon?”
Caroline avoided her friend’s curious eyes. “Partly.”
“Mostly.”
Caroline looked up. “Mostly.”
Bailey gave her a squeeze. “I love you. You will be okay. All of this will work out. I know it’s hard right now, but it won’t be forever.”