Once Becky turned her back, Clay grabbed his wine glass and lifted it from the white linen tabletop. “Happy birthday, Caroline. I love you.” He smiled before glancing upward. “And cheers to you, Johnny. We miss you, brother. Wish you were here.”
Caroline felt her chest deflate. “To Johnny. I miss you so much.” She tried to focus on her smile, but felt the moisture rushing to her eyes.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you sad.” Clay reached for her hand across the table.
“It’s okay. It was a really sweet gesture.”
“Know what you want for dessert?” Clay changed the subject, his voice bright.
Caroline knew he was desperate for her to be happy on today of all days, so she went along. “I didn’t even look at the menu yet, but definitely something chocolate-y!” Her mind bounced around from thoughts of Johnny to thoughts of Jackson; two people who brought pain to her heart for vastly different reasons.
“Chocolate it is, then,” Clay agreed.
When dinner was over and Caroline had convinced Clay she couldn’t eat another bite of their chocolate lava cake dessert, he stood from the table and helped her to her feet.
“I think that was the best meal of my life,” Caroline commented. “Thank you so much for dinner, Clay. This place is beautiful.”
He kissed the top of her hand. “You’re welcome. Happy birthday.”
As they walked hand in hand toward the exit of the restaurant, Clay started to reposition the jacket he was holding. “Here, take my jacket,” he said as he wrapped his suit jacket around her shoulders. “I want to show you one more thing.”
“What is it?” Caroline asked, intrigued.
Clay walked her toward the cliff edge of the restaurant as the sound of water crashing filled her ears. She listened to the ocean ebb and flow with harsh intensity and marveled at how much peace it brought her senses.
Clay stopped at the balcony that overlooked the bluff and held her in the warmth of his arms.
“You know how much I love you, don’t you?” he whispered into her ear.
Caroline turned to face him. “Of course I do,” she told him convincingly, completely unaware of his intentions.
Suddenly, Clay dropped down to one knee, and Caroline’s stomach turned with equal parts excitement and fear. He held open a dark box; even in the moonlight Caroline saw the contents sparkle wildly. He spoke words she barely heard over the sound of her own heart pounding in her ears.
“Caroline Weber, will you make me the happiest man alive and do me the honor of being my wife?” She heard those last words loud and clear before the silence that followed.
She was shocked and caught off guard. Then disbelief, happiness, sadness, excitement, fear, and elation dashed through her very being. Her mind raced through what felt like a million thoughts and questions simultaneously.
He wasn’t supposed to be proposing already. It was too soon. She wasn’t ready. Did Clay really want to marry her? She didn’t deserve him. She was lucky to have him. Was this even what she wanted? How could this amazing guy want to spend the rest of his life with her? Was he crazy? She was definitely crazy.
And then guilt crept inside her mind, quickly followed by images of Jackson.
Jackson.
The thought of him almost stopped her heart completely. Her knees started to shake forcefully and she reached for the cold iron railing, bracing herself against it. Another thought of Jackson caused her stomach to lurch violently and she briefly contemplated the notion that she might actually get sick right there on that balcony.
How had she come so far from where she had always intended to be, which was right here, in this moment with Clay? She knew she couldn’t possibly tell him ‘no.’ How could she? Oh sorry, honey, but I’ve been talking to some other guy and I think I might really like him? Of course she had to say ‘yes.’ What other choice was there?
It seemed as though minutes passed in Caroline’s hesitation to answer, but they were mere seconds in reality. She looked down at her boyfriend, who looked uncomfortable being on one knee, and told him with a smile, “Of course I’ll marry you.”
Clay’s eyes lit up as he gently slipped the diamond ring onto her finger. Caroline marveled at how large the square diamond looked on her hand. She immediately understood why women fell in love with them. “So sparkly,” she said out loud, transfixed by its shine.
Clay hesitated and then asked, “Do you like it?”
“It’s unbelievable,” Caroline admitted, her eyes still glued to her left hand.
Clay picked Caroline up in his arms, breaking her gaze. No longer bewitched by its sparkle her mind quickly returned to the image of Jackson’s face. Unable to fight her emotions any longer she allowed the tears to spill out.
Clay kissed the side of her wet face and repeated, “I love you so much.”