“I know,” he said. “I mean, not that you have a meeting, but that you have to go.”
Caroline felt like she could literally reach into the air and cut pieces of the sadness that lingered within it.
“I don’t want to,” she admitted.
His eyes were heavy with emotion. “Me neither,” he whispered.
They both stood up from the table and walked toward the glass door. This time she practically leapt into his arms, wrapping hers tightly around his neck. Tiny tears spilled onto his shirt. “You’re breaking my heart, Caroline. Please don’t be sad.” He tried to console her as he rubbed his hand along her slender back.
She refused to look at him, so he pulled away gently and lifted her face toward his. He caressed her cheek with his thumb. “Please. No more tears. We’ll stay in touch, okay?”
She sniffed and wiped the tears from her face. “Promise?”
“You think I’d be able to leave and never talk to you again? Clearly you have no idea the effect you’ve had on me, woman.”
His words made her laugh. “That’s better,” Jackson said as he wiped the last tear that remained on her cheek. “God, I want to kiss you.” He longed to feel her mouth on his. He had daydreamed about what her lips would feel like, taste like, since meeting her that day.
She debated momentarily between the two questions ever-present in her mind. How much could one kiss really hurt? And could one kiss change her whole life?
Her breath suddenly felt shallow and her knees trembled. “Me too. So bad.” She looked toward the ground. “But we can’t. I’d never be able to live with myself, or the guilt.”
“I know,” Jackson agreed. “Why is this so hard?”
Caroline snickered in relief. “I don’t know! But it’s not normal right? I mean, you don’t feel this way about strangers you meet all the time, do you?”
“You know I don’t,” Jackson insisted.
“So what does it mean?” she asked.
He shrugged his shoulders. “I guess time will tell. You’d better go, babe…your meeting,” he reminded her.
“Shit. Well. Keep in touch? God, that’s so stupid. This is so stupid,” she complained and whined and felt like a jumbled girly mess.
“You’d better go before I refuse to let you.”
She recognized the painful longing in Jackson’s eyes and knew that her eyes held the same look. The realization that this beautiful, rare thing between two strangers simply had to be let go. She walked away as he stood in the doorway of the café and watched. It was less painful this time, but took more strength.
There she goes again…walking out of my life for the second time this week, Jackson mumbled under his breath.
Her phone beeped and she looked down at the text message notification. “There has never been a more perfect lunch, or date. Thank you for today.”
She clutched the phone and pressed it against her heart, before typing out a quick response. “You’re the perfect one. Thank you for everything. Have a good flight and text me when you land so I know you’re safe. xoxo.”
Chapter Six
Caroline was curled up on the couch eating takeout when her phone rang. She saw that it was Clay and felt the slightest hint of disappointment. She quickly fought the emotion and answered cheerfully, “Hey, babe.”
“Hey! I’m leaving the office soon and I just wanted to know if you needed me to grab some dinner?” Caroline usually waited to eat when he got home, but had picked up food on her walk home from the office, her head lost in other thoughts.
“Shoot. I’m already eating. I’m sorry,” she said with a guilty conscience.
“No big deal,” Clay responded, his voice a little cold.
Caroline noted his tone. “I’m really sorry. I just wasn’t thinking.”
“It’s okay,” his tone lightened. “You’ve been a little off since Johnny died. I understand. I’ll see you in about a half an hour, okay?”
“’K. See you soon.”