“Sleeping. It was after midnight.”
“Talk faster,” she said, circling a hand in the air to hurry me up.
“He had to fly to New York. Something happened with the case he was working on, and apparently his whole squad flew to New York without any notice. He came straight here after he landed.”
She cocked her head to the side. “That’s a good thing, right? Wait, why didn’t he call you? And why did you end things?”
“His cell phone was in his car and his partner drove that day. He said his partner never drives,” I said with a small sigh.
“That makes sense to me. Dalton’s never been a liar. Do you think he’s lying?”
This was the lawyer side of Kristy, the side where she asked a million questions, all trying to get the answer she looked for. “I don’t think he was lying. I believe him,” I said.
“Then why end it?”
Looking away, I bit at my lip. “Because I can’t do this with him. I can’t date a cop.”
My mom had fallen apart when my dad was killed. The light had vacated her eyes for years before it ever started coming back. She stopped making sure I got up for school, because she wasn’t getting up at all. I was forced to fend for myself for dinner, lunch, and every other meal that we had once shared together as a family. Our family was broken, and my mom seemed convinced it could never be repaired. Essentially, she acted as if I didn’t exist anymore, as if she’d lost me at the same time she’d lost my dad.
I tried to talk to her through her bedroom door, calling out her name, begging her to come eat with me. But she never stirred, never responded, and never left her room. It was like that for months, to the point where I started to forget that there used to be happiness in our house, and laughter.
My mom lost something the day my dad was killed, but I didn’t blame her. In fact, it made me realize that I wanted to make sure that I never experienced that kind of pain for myself. And I sure as shit didn’t want it for any kids I might have in the future. There was no way I could date Dalton and not have panic attacks as I constantly feared for his safety.
“Don’t you think you’re going a little overboard?” Kristy blinked her eyes before fixing her gaze on me.
“Really?” My eyebrows shot to my hairline. “You think I’m going overboard?”
“I think you’re being irrational.” The words slipped from her lips, sounding calm and collected as they pierced me with their sting.
Hurt and a little pissed off, I demanded, “How the hell am I being irrational? No really, Kristy, explain this to me.”
“This is Dalton Thomas we’re talking about. The guy you’ve never stopped thinking or caring about for the last ten years. Hell, the guy you’d had a crush on for four years before that. To throw it all away, when he so clearly came here just for you, is not only irrational, it’s irresponsible.” She stared at me triumphantly when she finished, and I suddenly felt like I was witnessing closing arguments in a case I wasn’t aware I was a part of.
“You think I don’t know all of those things? You think they haven’t crossed my mind? I know what I’m throwing away—”
“Do you hear yourself? Throwing away!” she yelled at me as she cut me off. “You don’t throw people away, Cammie!”
I raised my voice to match hers. “I can’t do this with him! I can’t go through what my mom did. If anything happened to Dalton, I couldn’t live through that. Don’t you get it?”
“Don’t you?” She leveled me with a look of anguish. “Losing Dalton would gut you no matter what. Whether you were with him or not.”
“It would be worse if we were together. You know that’s true.”
“We should go see your mom,” Kristy suggested, and I bristled.
“My mom? Why?” I all but spat out at her.
“Because she’s the one who has the best perspective on this sort of situation.” Her eyes lit up as she moved to start getting changed out of her pajamas. “And if we don’t go see her now, you’ll stick with this insane decision of yours for way too long, and waste tons of time not being with Dalton when you could have been with him the whole time. Then you’ll be pissed about all the time you wasted, and I don’t want to deal with that.”
“You just have it all figured out, don’t you?” I asked, shaking my head.
“You know I do,” she said, her voice muffled as she pulled her top over her head.
I cocked an eyebrow at her. “You really think my mom will be on your side with this?”
“I’m not sure. But I definitely think you’re reacting defensively instead of thinking clearly. And I think your mom will agree with my assessment,” she said with a confident smile.
I gave her a snarling frown I didn’t really feel. “No way. You’re not going to like what she has to say.”