She shrugs. "The pills. The alcohol. Maybe I'm doing all this to forget that... I'm not his anymore."
Her bottom lip wobbles and I blink away tears in my eyes. I understand better than she could possibly know. Her situation with Father sounds similar to what I'm going through with Dex. And yet I still don't know which one of us made the right choice—her, for leaving, or me, for going back.
I already know I'm going back now.
There's no avoiding it.
Dexter—and the rest of the Firstborns, along with Father—deserve
to know about the baby.
"I think I have to go back," I admit in a trembling voice.
"I know." Mother pats my hand. "Whenever you're ready, darling. And you're always welcome here, you know that."
I pick myself up from the sofa, grateful for the rare moment of companionship. I feel her gaze on my back as I leave the room, heading back upstairs where Alli's eyes are still glued to the TV screen. The moment I walk in, she turns it off, turning to face me with a concerned expression.
"How many Xanies today?" she asks, and I shrug, sitting down on the bed with a sigh.
"Believe it or not, she seemed pretty lucid. We had a good talk."
"I'm glad," Alli smiles. "So, what's the plan? Are we going back to Eden Falls?"
"Yes," I nod, watching her beam. She's heard so many stories about the town now. She's eager to see it for herself, though I don't quite understand why she wants to visit so badly. Most of what I've told her is terrible, and yet I've never met someone so eager to walk right into the snake's den.
"That's good," she nods. "It's time, I think. Aren't you excited?"
I ponder her answer. God knows what awaits me when I return. I'll have to visit Dexter in jail, tell him about the baby. I'll have to face all the Firstborns as well as Father. Dread settles in the pit of my stomach, mixing with excitement to form a peculiar mix.
"I suppose," I finally mutter. "Are you?"
"Yes," she beams. "I get to meet the elusive Dexter Booth..."
I laugh, but can't help the pang of jealousy her words send through my body. Alli's pretty. Like, way prettier than me. And I can't help but wonder what Dex would think of her.
"But there's something else you should know," Alli mutters then, looking away to hide the guilt in her eyes. "I found something."
"What is it?"
She won't meet my eyes. Instead, she just passes over a slip torn out of a checkbook. My eyes widen as I take in what it says.
The check is for two-hundred thousand dollars. And it's addressed to my mother. The check is embossed with a name I know all too well—my father's.
"What is this?" I ask, trying to hide the tremble in my voice.
Alli shrugs. "I guess your dad is paying your mom."
"Do you think he knows we're here?" I whisper.
"Probably... I mean, surely he does."
"But he told me she was dead," I manage brokenly. "And he's been in touch with her this whole time?"
"I'm sorry, Pandora."
I want to scream, but I manage to hold it in and pass Alli the check back. "Where did you find that?"
"It was... in the foyer," she says, quickly averting her eyes. Something tells me she's lying, and I decide to press further.