I count to three in my head before facing her again. "No, we won't."
"Trust me," she winks at me. "I've done all the research."
"But it's not your baby!"
The words come out an octave too high. In moments, the air in the room is constricting and a chill goes down my spine. The doctor clears his throat, putting his things away, and I wipe my belly in frustration and throw the paper towels on the table as I pick myself up.
"I'm sorry, Alli, but I'm going to a hospital. I know Mother had a complicated birth with me, and I need someone there to make sure it's okay."
"He's okay," she corrects me, giving the doctor a sad smile. "See? This is what I'm talking about. She doesn't even acknowledge he's a person in there."
"I didn't want to assume the sex like you are," I hiss, glancing at the doctor.
I rub my stomach as I pull my dress back down.
"We'll be seeing you in a few weeks then, Doctor?" I ask as the guy says his goodbyes.
"We'll see." Alli leads him away from the cottage. "Gotta go now. Dr. Meyer is very busy."
"What about my questions?" I call out after them, but Alli doesn't stop walking. The doc glances over his shoulder, but she quickly shoos him around the corner before he can reply. Defeated, I return to the house.
With guilt, I glance at the maternity books Alli has compiled. I haven't read a single one of them. In fact, I still don't quite believe this is really happening.
That I'm actually going to have a baby.
Even with my body changing so much, it's hard to believe I'm so far along.
Shame threatens to swallow me up. I feel awful for not being more dedicated to the baby. Like Alli is—she lives and breathes for this kid, and he's not even hers.
The thing that's bothering me about it... something I haven't been able to admit to anyone, not even myself, is...
I legitimately have no idea who the father is.
It could be any of them.
Cruel, handsome Julian.
Artistic, tortured Caspian.
Twisted, smart Easton.
Poor, dead Lai.
Or my bully, Dexter.
While Dex does have a higher chance of being the father than the others, I can't be certain until they do a paternity test. But at the same time, not knowing would keep me—and the baby—safer.
"I'm back!" I turn to face the front door where Alli just walked in. I don't reply, feeling too annoyed, but she just has to approach me. "Why were you such a bitch to me in front of Dr. Meyer?"
I laugh out loud. "You can't be serious."
"I'm very serious." She crosses her arms. "You made me look like a fool. I'm the one who's been doing the research. You haven't even picked a name!"
"You're forgetting something very important," I remind her with a saccharine smile. "None of that matters, because at the end of the day, I'm the one who gets to have the baby."
Her bottom lip twitches. "You're such a sad little girl, Pandora. Just crying and feeling sorry for yourself all the damn time. Nobody cares about that baby more than I do. Least of all you."
"What happened to you?" I scrutinize her with my gaze. "You've changed so much since I met you, Alli."