I wanted to hug him so hard to show him some of what I was feeling, but I was back to feeling shy again. “Are you still hungry, baby?” How could he sound so relaxed? Even the way he moved seemed like there was nothing major on the horizon like we were just here to relax and enjoy. I don’t think I’ll be as laid back as him until we get this over with. Just thinking about it made my heart race.
I shook my head and evaded his eyes as he seemed to look right into me. I almost stumbled over my feet when, after he’d looked at me for what felt like forever, he just turned with my hand still held in his and headed for the stairs. Oh boy, this is it. Do all women think like I am when they’re about to go to bed with their partner the first time?
My mind went over everything I’d done to prepare. I’d shaved and showered, covered myself in scented lotions and body spray, and most embarrassingly, I’d used one of the suppositories Sian had forced on me though my cheeks were blushing hard when she explained what they were. Right, I have to remember to get rid of my panty liner before we go to bed.
Just the sight of the bed made my knees weak, and my hand trembled in his. Again I was subjected to another one of his stares before he released me to go open one of the travel boxes from the boutique. I bit my lip when he removed the silk floor-length nightgown before coming back to me.
He said nothing, and I stood like a ninny while he undressed me and then pulled the nighty on over my head. “Turn around.” His voice sent shivers down my spine. Where did that timbre come from? And why did it seem to glide along my skin to that place between my thighs? “Perfect.” I felt his eyes on me before his lips touched my shoulder from behind.
I croaked out the word bathroom and made a dash for the en suite before he could say anything. I had to splash my face with cold water twice before calming down after getting rid of the liner and emptying my bladder. I don’t know how I got my feet to work, but I made it back into the bedroom where he was standing waiting.
When he lifted me and placed me on the bed, I forced myself not to squeeze my eyes shut like a little kid afraid of something, but when he stepped back and started to get undressed, I was back to passing out again. I’ve never seen him naked. Once, I’d Facetimed him before our regularly scheduled time, and he was pulling on his shirt, but that’s as much of him as I’ve seen uncovered.
Even when we were here before, he never went without a tank top, at least around me. Now I got to see the defined muscles in his chest and arms, and oh merciful heavens, is he beautiful. My eyes followed as he divested himself of his jeans next, and my mouth ran dry as I waited for him to drop his boxers, but alas, it never came.
“Aieee.” I squealed and closed my eyes, diving under the covers when he turned and caught me staring at him. I heard his footsteps and a soft chuckle as he came towards the bed and gripped the sheet even harder. I squeezed my eyes shut as my nervousness came back full force when I felt the impression of his body in the bed next to mine.
I was like a block of wood when he pulled me into his arms; my body tensed for action. “Sleep!” What? He folded me in his arms, which he had wrapped around me tight, then kissed my forehead. I was asleep mere seconds later.
Alex
I fell asleep watching her chest rise and fall and came awake not long after, totally amazed at my restraint. It was nice to know that in at least one way, I wasn’t a complete fuck-up, that I was able to put her first before my own wants and desires. One of my biggest fears has been that I wouldn’t be able to give her what the others give their women. That because of my own upbringing with two selfish disinterested parents, that I too would be the same.
But nothing could be further from the truth. In just a short while, I’ve come to realize that for her, I can be the best me I’m capable of being. As long as she smiles and cuddles up to me like she’s doing now, I’m good with whatever. My mind was all for that last part, but my body was on a different track.