I glared at him, which he ignored, of course. “You two should get a move on; you’ll miss your flight.” She said another round of goodbyes to the girls like we were going off to war, and from the looks and smiles I was getting, it was brought home to me that everyone in the room knew what we would be doing in just a few hours.
I grabbed her hand and made a hasty retreat because one pep talk from my brothers on what to do was more than enough; thank you very much. I was twitchy as fuck in the back of that car on the way to the airstrip, which was right on the estate, and by the time we were strapped in and ready for take-off, I was sweating bullets. I thought I was prepared, but now I’m not so sure.
I don’t remember it being this hot in this damn plane or this enclosed. Her arms brushed mine, and every hair on my body stood on end. Maybe I’m coming down with something. My tongue was tied, and I couldn’t think of a single thing to say to her. I wasn’t nervous or afraid, not for myself at any rate, but for her.
In my mind, I saw myself pretty much like a caged tiger, prowling back and forth, my need barely leashed. It felt as if the last year of waiting and being patient had culminated into a ball of want and need that couldn’t bear to hold out for the next few hours. That’s not the only thing that was bothering me now, though. I’m suddenly afraid of hurting her of not giving her everything she needs to make this first experience one she’d remember for the rest of her life.
I thought Jace was full of shit when he mentioned it earlier. In my mind, though I was ready to be careful with her and to show her all the tenderness I felt inside, I didn’t see our coming together physically as anything different from what I’ve shared with others before. I knew that my feelings for her would change things, make them more pleasurable, but beyond that, I didn’t see that there could be any real difference.
I was wrong. In all my experiences, I sincerely didn’t give a fuck about the other person. I wasn’t exactly selfish, but it didn’t really matter to me one way or another if the experience was just fleeting for both parties involved. But now, as the clock keeps ticking away, I realize that this is a whole other situation.
CASSIE
He’s nervous. It’s cute and adorable and goes a long way to making me more at ease for some reason. I was afraid of seeming immature in my inexperience compared to him. I always knew before we proclaimed our feelings for each other that he got around. You can’t like someone for as long as I’ve liked him and not know these things about them.
I must’ve compared myself with his past conquest a thousand times, always coming up short. But it seems that Sian and the others were right; he’s different with me. He’s not the same cocky boy I used to watch from afar; the one other girls used to whisper about in the hallways at Eden High. As part of Jace’s clique, he and the others were in high demand from about age fourteen. The stories I’ve heard are enough to make me think twice, but the heart wants what it wants, and mine has always been for him.
Each time his arm touched mine, it felt as if fire shot up my arm, and I held myself still, not daring to move lest I make a fool of myself. I looked out the window at the sky as the plane soared into the air, and my excitement grew. I’m sure for him in his mind, the celebration begins on my birthday, but for me, it started the minute he returned. The way he’s been taking care of me ever since he showed up at my door yesterday.
My cheeks blushed when I recalled how he’d hovered when the stylist was doing my hair. The way he’d taken over even, there was just a preview of things to come, I’m sure. The woman had wanted to cut my hair in some new style that’s all the rage. I was pretty much sold when she showed me a picture of it, but Alex had shut her down with a ‘no’ that she didn’t even bother to argue with.
Now I’m glad he’d talked her out of it as his fingers played in my fat golden curls as if he just had to be touching me. I looked at him now while he was preoccupied with the magazine he was reading, and it hit me in the gut that my Alex was no longer a boy. “What is it?” Oh crap, he must’ve felt me staring at him.