She’s gone.
My heart shatters.
This is so unfair.
Connor walks away with his bag in one hand and his phone in the other. After he puts his supplies in his truck, he returns, and I overhear him.
“Gavin. She’s ready,” Connor says, then hangs up.
“You seriously can’t get rid of her fast enough,” I hiss, moving to my feet.
“What’re you talkin’ about?”
“She’s been dead twelve seconds, and you’re already on the phone to have someone come to dispose of her!” I shout, walking toward him.
He backs up as I move closer, obviously stunned by my outburst. “Elizabeth.” He says my name calmly, which only pisses me off further.
“Do you have a sensitive bone in your body, or are you just coldhearted?”
“I’m doing my job. If she stays out here too long, the coyotes will come eat her body. Is that what you want? We can’t wait out here all night until you’re ready to move her,” he counters, his voice growing louder.
I blink hard, my anger taking control. “I’m sorry coming out here was such an inconvenience to you. Calling you was a big mistake.”
Moving past him, I walk toward the side-by-side I drove here, but he grabs my wrist and pulls me back.
“What the hell are you talkin’ about? I never said that. I didn’t think you’d want to leave her out here all night long. I’m sure you want her properly buried.”
“How do you know what I want? Or care, for that matter. It’s not like you give a damn about me,” I throw in his face. “You’re an asshole to me ninety-nine percent of the time, though I don’t know what I ever did to deserve that.”
“You think I’m an asshole?” He raises his brows, almost daring me to repeat it.
“You think you aren’t?” I counter. “All I’ve ever done is try to make you proud, yet you act like you can’t stand me. Your mood swings give me whiplash. One second, you’re nice, and the next, you make me feel like the biggest burden of your life. So which is it, Connor?”
He stares intently at me, shaking his head. “You’ve never been a burden.”
“Well, you have a funny way of showing it. What’s your problem then?”
His blue eyes darken, and the silence between us draws on. Just when I think he’s not going to answer, he cages me in his arms against the side of his truck. “My problem is how much I want you. How much I’ve wanted you since the day you stepped into my office and looked at me with your green doe eyes. My problem is that no matter how I felt or what I wanted, I couldn’t act on it because I was your boss and too old for you. Never mind the fact I was going through a divorce and being a single dad. My life was a mess, so I kept you at arm’s length. But it didn’t fucking work because no matter what I did, you were there wearing a smile. Even when I pushed you away, you never went far. You were by my side. In my office. In my head. Always tempting me. So if I was an asshole, it was for your own good, Elizabeth. You’re smart and hardworking. I’ve never doubted that or you for a second.”
My breath catches, and I’m stunned into silence. Did he just…confess he has feelings for me?
Pushing off the truck, Connor creates space between us and squeezes the back of his neck. He shakes his head like he can’t believe he admitted that to me. “Elizabeth, I shouldn’t—”
“Why?” I step toward him, and he glances at me. “Why would you want to stay away from me?” I whisper, trying to sort through this in my head.
He licks his lips and swallows hard. “I didn’t want to. I had to. Because if I didn’t, all I’d think about is kissing you. I may be an asshole, but I’m not selfish. I wasn’t about to let how I felt ruin your future. You needed a boss, a mentor, and a teacher, and I couldn’t be those things if all I thought about was having an inappropriate relationship with you.” He inhales sharply, then continues, “But regardless of my efforts, I never stopped wondering what it’d be like. And that pissed me off. It fueled my frustration, and that turned to anger. So I apologize for being an asshole, but trust me, it was the only way.”
“I don’t accept that,” I blurt out.
“Excuse me?” His brows rise in confusion.
“I don’t accept that treating me like shit was the only way to deal with your feelings. You took the easy way out.”
He scoffs, charging closer until my back presses against the truck.
“The easy way out?” he barks, then tilts my chin up. “You really think it was easy? Pfft. You have no clue then.”