The alcohol streams through my blood, and my face is starting to feel numb. “Well…” She hesitates.
My eyes go wide, and my mouth falls open. “Are you pregnant?”
A hint of pink meets her cheeks.
“You are!” Elle says, and Kenzie gasps.
Immediately, we stand and move to her, then exchange a group hug.
She places her finger over her lips. “Shhh…I don’t want your parents finding out before mine do.”
“You haven’t told them yet?” Kenzie asks.
“No, and I was hoping I’d get you all trashed before you noticed I wasn’t drinking.”
“This is so amazing!” I admit, really meaning it. “More Bishop babies!”
She places her hand on her belly and laughs. “Told you they’d love you.”
“Diesel knows?” Elle asks.
She nods. “After he proposed, I took him off to the side and told him. He’s ecstatic to give Dawson a little brother or sister and so am I. Diesel’s already an amazing dad, and I’m so happy he’ll get to experience all the nuances of having a pregnant wife. He’s already excited for the doctors appointments and making me tacos whenever I demand them.” She laughs, and I notice how she’s glowing. “You all better keep that secret because if Grandma finds out she didn’t know before you three, she will kick my ass.”
“You’re right.” Elle nods. “She’d lose her shit.”
“But, back to you, Maize. Time to admit you were wrong and give the man a chance. Also, what did he say to you when he pulled you to the side?” Rowan asks.
I roll my eyes again. “He said he tames wild horses, and he’ll tame my attitude too.”
Kenzie slaps her hands together. “That’s fucking hot. If you pass up the opportunity, I might let him tame me.”
I playfully smack her. “You are too much sometimes.”
“You need some grand gesture to show Gavin that you’re sorry for being an asshole,” Elle suggests as we move back to the bed. “You were literally being an asshole because of your insecurities, and that’s not fair to him.”
“If I’ve learned anything over the years, it’s that communication is key. Apologize and put all your feelings on the table, then see what he says. You’re gonna have to talk to him, and it won’t be easy. Hell, it might even be a little humiliating, but you’re gonna have to humble yourself a bit and do it anyway,” Rowan says.
“Do you think it’s too late?” I look at her.
She shrugs. “I dunno, but you don’t want to look back five years from now with regret like that.”
“You’re right. It’s just all so…”
“Awkward?” Elle says. “I understand that.”
Kenzie looks at her. “Because of Mr. Hot Vet, huh.”
“Shut it.” Elle points her finger at her.
“I have a lot of thinking to do,” I admit. “A lot.”
Kenzie hands me the M&M’s, and the four of us sit on my queen-size bed and get lost in trashy reality TV. Rowan gets up to go to the bathroom every so often, then comes back and makes us shots. I lean against the headboard, not paying attention to anything on the screen. All I can think about is Gavin and how I’ll even begin that conversation. I feel lost and confused, and it’s all my own doing.
After the girls leave, I lie down, unable to go to sleep. I toss and turn all night, thinking about Gavin and wishing I had the courage to text him, but I don’t. The things I need to say should be said in person, but after the way I treated him, I wouldn’t be surprised if he ignores me. At least that’s what I deserve.
It’s been almost a week since I hung out with the gang, and many of the things Rowan said have played on repeat in my mind. I know communication is key, but I’m also stubborn as hell. Half of me wonders what good it would do to talk to him about it, especially if he’s planning to go on the road anyway. Then I remember how he said he doesn’t regret retiring the night of the rodeo. My stomach is in knots thinking about it.
All week, I’ve looked for him at the B&B, but I haven’t seen him once. I feel as if I ruined my chances by not giving him a fair one, and the thought crushes me.
“Did you hear me?” Dad asks from the doorway of the kitchen.
I was lost in my head again, something I’ve been doing a lot of this week. “No, sorry. What did you say?”
“We need more tea out here, please,” he says with a smile.
I nod and suck in a deep breath. Instead of turning and walking away, Dad comes over to me. The lunch rush is nearly over, and I was prepping for dinner while my employees washed dishes.
Dad stands beside me as I grab the teabags. “What’s going on with you this week?”