I’m so happy it’s stupid. Truly, honestly stupid.
Because this moment isn’t what it feels like.
I’m most decidedly not on a romantic adventure with my incredible boyfriend who knows me so well he had a backup plan ready to deploy in the event of bug-related camping catastrophes.
I am on a friends-with-sexy-times trip with my good friend who will be leaving in a little over a week. Soon, he’ll be banging sexy starlets thousands of miles away.
On the other side of the country . . .
The thought sends a stab of pain through me, but I push it away. I refuse to let my rational brain ruin this trip—this detour. I’m going to keep enjoying it for what it is. I refuse to think about Jesse leaving or who he’ll be giving orgasms to in the future.
But turns out it’s not my brain that’s the problem.
It’s my heart, thumping harder in my chest as Jesse takes my hand when we disembark, keeping me steady on the gently wobbling plank. My heart patters faster as we cross the magnificent hotel grounds, walking past beautifully maintained gardens and a stunning pool with a view of the lake and mountains, and then inside a lobby where a soaring glass ceiling lets in the dreamy pink light.
My heart skips a beat as Jesse books a suite on the top floor for two nights.
Minutes later, we step through the door into the most gorgeous hotel room I’ve ever seen. “Oh my God.” I press a hand to my chest, padding across the thick carpet into the tastefully furnished sitting room with its floor-to-ceiling windows.
The mountains and the calm mirror of the lake far below are breathtaking.
Literally. For a second I can’t breathe. It’s just too perfect.
“You like?” Jesse drops our bags in the bedroom and then comes to stand beside me, his arms around me the only thing that could make this moment more beautiful.
I lean back against his chest. “I love. It’s crazy fancy and you shouldn’t have spent all this money, but . . .” I glance over my shoulder with a grin. “But I really, really love it. I’m never going to forget this trip. Never ever.”
A shadow crosses his face—there and gone in an instant.
That’s odd.
I could swear I saw that same shadow when we left the cabin. I’d chalked it up to him not looking forward to telling Rachel that we were leaving early, then, but now . . .
Now, I wonder if maybe he’s bummed. That maybe I ruined his plans.
I turn in his arms. “Hey . . . if you want to try camping again tomorrow night, we can. We have two nights, right? I can definitely psych myself up for sleeping in the woods. I don’t want you to be disappointed.”
“I’m not disappointed,” he says, his voice soft and low and weird.
I frown. “You look disappointed.”
He sighs, and his hands fall from my hips. “Ruby . . . we need to talk.”
My stomach twists into a hard, aching knot, without my even knowing what it’s about. That is not a good tone. That is an “I’m about to say things you’re not going to like” tone.
I step back, trying to keep my expression neutral even as my pulse begins to race. I have to remain calm. The only thing worse than getting dumped is knowing the person doing the dumping can see how much they’ve hurt you.
How much you want to not be dumped. How much you wish you were still going to bed with him tonight.
That has to be what this is about.
Jesse must realize I’m starting to have more-than-friends feelings. Bet he feels obligated to let me down easy before I wade any deeper into the love ocean I’m already swimming in.
My face flushes hot even as my hands go cold, shame rushing in so fast there’s no chance to head it off at the pass. The best I can do is try to breathe through it as I ask, “About what?”
Jesse rakes a hand through his hair and nods toward the balcony. “Should we sit outside? It’s nice out there.”
I cross my arms over my chest and nod. “Okay. Sure.”