Cam: You're jealous of Eve again?
He sent it while I was at lunch.
It's right there, after our… discussion about keeping things platonic.
As if he didn't admit he wants me.
As if I didn't send him a topless pic.
As if everything is normal.
Fine. This is our new normal.
Cam can keep his whole I have a magic cock so great it ruins women I fuck bullshit to himself.
We'll stay family friends.
Or whatever.
I don't even care.
Okay. I aspire to not care.
Eventually.
Sienna: Yes. That's why I texted you last night.
Cam: At midnight.
Sienna: Is jealousy limited to daylight hours?
Cam: Was it that pressing?
No. Maybe. I don't know. I wanted to talk to him.
Sienna: Have you ever been jealous?
Cam: Of course.
Sienna: Of who?
Cam: Women I liked. The men who they fucked.
Sienna: I thought you don't fuck women you like.
Cam: I don't.
Sienna: So why are you jealous?
Cam: Because the men offer them something I don't. Love, intimacy, tenderness.
Does he really believe that?
Sienna: And you're not capable?
Cam: I'm not.
Sienna: How can you be sure?
Cam: I've tried.
It's technically an explanation, but it doesn't feel right.
Cam is a caring person. He pretends he doesn't give a shit about anyone or anything, but he's incredibly devoted to Ty.
Cam: Why did you write last night?
Sienna: I felt jealous.
Cam: Of something other than her intellect?
Kind of.
Cam: Her hair maybe?
Sienna: No. I like my style. I appreciate the drama she brings, but I prefer to keep it low-key. Well, as low-key as I can dining out with Ty.
Cam: Can you keep a secret?
Sienna: Of course.
Cam: He sleeps in that suit.
Sienna: He does not.
Cam: No. I'm pretty sure he sleeps naked.
Sienna: He would.
He's quiet for a few minutes.
Cam: It's not her style or her hair. Her boyfriend?
Sienna: Ian? No.
Cam: He's your type. Older. Playful. Handsome.
Because Cam knows I like him?
Is he flirting? I'm not sure.
If he is, it must be accidental. He seems intent on making this whole platonic thing our new normal.
Sienna: No. I'm not interested in him.
Cam: Maybe not Ian specifically, but everything he offers?
Sienna: Kinky sex?
Cam: Have you been to his flat? It's nicer than Ty's.
Sienna: No way. Ty's has the roof terrace. It's way nicer.
Cam: So you have been.
Sienna: And?
Cam: You're not jealous?
Sienna: Wouldn't I be jealous of my sister then?
Cam: Are you?
Sienna: No.
Cam: Never?
Sienna: Never.
Cam: Really? Even when Ty was showering her with gifts and dirty promises?
Sienna: Maybe a little. But Ty's not my type.
Cam: Too quiet?
Sienna: Exactly.
Cam: So it's nothing they have in common. Not their significant others. Or their increased wealth.
My alarm buzzes. Class is starting now. I should go. Listen to my professor explain the inner workings of the human mind.
But I don't.
I grip my cell tighter.
He was right last night. I like him. In all the ways. I want to touch him, yes, but I want this too.
Cam: What happened last night to make you text me?
Sienna: We went for ice cream. But not to our usual place. To Eve's favorite place. And Indie ordered Eve's favorite flavor too. They had pistachio, but she still ordered mint chip. And vegan mint chip.
It sounds so silly written out. Why am I upset about my sister's ice cream preferences?
It's dessert.
It's nothing. Especially compared to next weekend. To her walking down the aisle and forever being a wife first and everything else second.
I swallow another sip of iced coffee, but it doesn't soothe my throat. It's already ragged.
I'm already—
Fuck.
I press my eyelids together. Tell myself not to cry.
Not here, in the middle of Washington Square Park, while texting Cam.
But that only makes it worse.
It's not just Eve.
It's not just his bullshit rejection.
It's everything.
Life is changing.
I want it to change. I want her to make friends and find success and marry the man of her dreams.
But it means losing our reality TV marathons and our tea shop afternoons and everything we built together, out of the ashes of Mom's death.
Cam: They have more in common.
Sienna: Yeah.
Cam: But she's not as charming as you.
Sienna: Sweet talking me?
Cam: No. Eve is charming in her own way. But you're off the charts.
My lips curl into a smile.
Cam: I felt the same way when Ty came home from university for winter break. He made friends on his football team. And the way he described the star player…
Sienna: You were still in high school?
Cam: For another two years.
Right. Ty is thirty-one now. Cam is twenty-nine. Eleven years my senior.
Sure, Ty has nine years on Indie, but she's twenty-two now. It's different.
Cam: I was used to being jealous of Ian. He's always been Ty's idol. But I accepted that. He's older and wiser. And he was never around.
Sienna: Because he was in the military?
Cam: I was over the moon when Ian enlisted. Ty was miserable. He was only twelve. He wasn't ready to be the man of the house.
Their dad was in the military too.
Sienna: Did you care he was miserable?