It had been the perfect arrangement, getting her needs met while leaving her mind clear and free to focus on the relentless pursuit of her career goals. Until that stupid, wonderful kiss…
No one ever kissed in a public BDSM dungeon. It was actually illegal, considered an “exchange of bodily fluid,” which was expressly forbidden. Not to mention, it just wasn’t smart on so many levels. She should have insisted on maintaining that same separation with Master Cameron, but when he’d touched his lips to hers, she’d lost all sense and reason.
Now, try as she might, the gates between her worlds had been breached. There was no going back. And yet, she couldn’t see a way forward. Even if she were willing to take the risk and make the leap, Cameron Lord had made it abundantly clear he wasn’t interested in the whole relationship package. He kept his life as rigidly compartmentalized as she did.
She was tottering on a precarious perch between worlds. The lines had blurred. For the first time, she was no longer content with splitting herself in two.
She wanted the BDSM and the romance. The Dom and the real man behind the leather and chain.
Damn it. She wanted it all!
But at what cost?
In her experience, subordinates who got entangled in an office romance crashed and burned, while the boss rarely paid much of a price. No matter how much the firm might tout its commitment to equality and parity, sexism still prevailed, as it did through every stratum of society, however subtle its delivery. Getting involved with a partner was a huge mistake. That in itself should have been enough to shut down her obsession.
And now what the hell would happen? Had she imperiled her career? Should she take preemptive measures? Should she put in for a transfer to their San Francisco office? After all, there was a Masters Club there, too, so she wouldn’t have to give up the newfound nirvana of a ready-made group of serious players in her chosen lifestyle. Her parents had recently retired to Costa Rica and her little sister lived in Colorado, so it wasn’t like she’d be leaving family behind in New York.
She wouldn’t rush into anything, however. She would take her time, as she always did in her professional life. She would weigh the options, do her research and make an informed decision. Meanwhile, she would carry on as usual, as if nothing had happened.
As if the world hadn’t tilted on its axis the moment their lips had touched.
As if she could forget that look of longing in those soulful gray eyes that had surely mirrored her own.
Chapter 18
Cameron arrived at the office later than usual that Monday morning, still recovering from the mental hangover of the weekend. He exited the elevator, the cake plate balanced in his hands, his briefcase clutched under one arm.
He’d learned to cook out of necessity. An only child, he was a latchkey kid growing up, often alone after school until he put himself to bed. In the mornings, his mom was usually still passed out from an all-night drinking binge, his dad often not there at all, with no sign he’d ever been home. From an early age, Cameron got his own breakfast, packed his own lunch and basically kept himself to himself. Happily, as he got older and took over the grocery shopping, the need to cook had evolved into a comforting distraction and, eventually, once he was on his own, a genuine pleasure.
Marion jumped up as he approached her desk, a smile breaking out on her face. “Is that one of your famous cakes, Mr. Lord? Tell me it’s the dark chocolate with the buttercream coffee icing. And tell me it’s all for me,” she added with a chortle.
Cameron grinned, allowing his secretary to take the cake plate from his hands. “Yes to both. Though I know you, Marion. You’ll take the thinnest sliver possible and then proclaim that you can’t eat another bite and put it in the breakroom.”
Marion patted her flat stomach with a chuckle. “It’s called self-control. Like you, I’m very good at that.”
Cameron thought about that remark as he settled himself at his desk. He’d given the whole matter of his mentee considerable thought over the rest of the weekend, and decided he was one hundred percent to blame for what had happened. He’d had no right to let whatever personal feelings might be brewing get in the way of Jess’s experience at the club. It had been inappropriate…and wonderful.
Swiveling in his chair, he faced the window, staring out at the harbor and shore beyond. With that kiss, he’d entered uncharted emotional territory, and he’d dragged an innocent girl along with him. Yet, it was she, not he, who’d come to her senses. Thank goodness she’d broken away from him when she had. God knows what he might have done otherwise.