“If they tip over, we run and get the canoes out,” Elijah proposed. “There are extra oars on the wall in case any of them ever get lost, so just grab one and run.”
That plan turned out to be pointless because the wind began to pick up the closer they got to us, and it pushed them along at the same time as making the waves bigger and stronger. They were only about three or four feet high, but they had some power behind them that the gentle ones previously hadn’t had.
“Wow, this shit changes quickly,” Marcus said as he got out of the sea, shaking his legs out. “I could feel the current pushing against me.”
“We’re in an area where they can get pretty nasty. But the wind’s coming in our direction, so the sea’s getting pushed toward us, which is handy for them.” Elijah pointed at where they were, just as a swell picked the pool up and carried it toward us.
Unfortunately, as with all waves, it broke, and when the edge of the pool hit the sea, it tipped, flipping the pool over the girls and dumping them in the water. We all went running in to help them out, just as they both broke the surface.
“Shark!” Sadie cried hoarsely. “There’s a fucking shark.”
Sasha, though, was hunched over, holding herself strangely and uncaring that she was getting knocked around by the waves now.
Picking her up, I carried her onto the beach and set her down on her feet. As soon as my arms moved away and she was standing on her own, she crumpled down onto her knees, gasping in air.
“Oh my God, did it get you? Bloody hell, Elijah,” Sadie yelled, throwing her arms around. “We were almost shark bait, and you’re standing there smiling and arsing waving like it’s the Grand National.”
“We thought you were asking if there was anything sharp, pixie,” he explained weakly.
Giving him the middle finger, she stormed over to Sasha, who still hadn’t spoken. “What happened? Shitting shit, it didn’t bite your nunny, did it?”
Shaking her head, Sasha took a shuddering breath in. “No, the shark didn’t bite my vagina.” Then her head snapped up, and she glared at my sister-in-law. “But you need to cut your fucking toenails.”
Sadie looked confusedly at her feet then back at my woman. “What do you mean?”
Sasha managed to get one foot under her, and then I helped her to her knees, intrigued as to what the problem was.
“You kicked me.”
“Oh, sorry. Let me see.” Sadie bent over and looked at Sasha’s thigh.
That wasn’t where she was cupping, though.
“I had sex with your toe,” she wheezed, her eyes squeezed tightly shut. “My poor cookie’ll never be the same again.”
That’s when I realized what’d happened as I replayed the pool flipping over in my head.
I saw the moment the boat tipped, and they were thrown out of it, both of their bodies sliding closer together with the momentum and their legs flying up in all directions like limbs do in situations like that. Obviously, Sadie’s foot had kicked her in the crotch as it’d happened.
A quick glance at my sister-in-law’s toes made me wince.
“Oh shit,” Elijah cringed. “Do you need a doctor?”
Sadie was a bit slower, but she took a step away and put her fist against her mouth when she put the pieces together.
“Does an accidental toe to the muff count as cheating? Oh, chuffing hell. I’m so sorry.”
Marcus was remarkably quiet during all of this, but then we heard a deep chuckle, followed by another, and I turned around to see Sam supporting Ryan, with Ned and Dad standing beside them. Off to their sides were Benny and Malcolm, who looked torn between being disgusted and amused by their cousin’s predicament.
Ryan was holding onto the side that the bullets had hit, and where his arm had been amputated just below the elbow was twitching with each laugh that wheezed out of him.
Slowly, almost like she was possessed, Sasha’s head rose, and she glared at her dads. “Why’s this so funny? If a man gets kicked in the junk, we’ve got to hold a damn national holiday with flowers and mourning. Look at her toenails.”
All of them glanced down at her nails and then down at the sand in front of their group. It was the shaking shoulders that gave them away, though, and the fact they were still laughing.
“You guys are big, fat, mean…” she searched for a word, but apparently, the pain was too much because she just groaned and dug her fist in the sand. “Why does this hurt so much?”
“Well, see, we’ve got nerves down there, and it’s a bit of a sensitive area,” Sadie started, then stopped when Sasha glared at her. “Did I, you know— cut you?”
All of us took a step back as Sasha’s face turned a darker shade of red. “I’ll check when I’m in a private place, but I’ll find a way to put a hex on your vagina if you have.”