I touched his face, my palms against his cheeks in just the way he usually held mine. I dared to look into his eyes and I found him there, the same Darren I’d loved all those years ago.
The same Darren who’d loved me so fucking hard it hurt.
I loved the way it hurt.
He was like a fucking hurricane, and this was dangerous. So fucking dangerous.
“Gonna come,” he said. “Fuck, Jo… fuck.”
I held his face firm, wanting to see it, wanting to see every moment of pleasure on his face. He closed his eyes and held his breath, the slap of skin on skin so fucking loud as he emptied his balls inside me.
Only it wasn’t inside me.
Fuck, how I loved to watch him come. I loved every second of rapture on his face as he rode the climax right the way to the end.
I smiled as he collapsed onto me, his skin hot and sweaty, his heart beating fast. I wrapped my arms around him and I could feel it. I could feel everything.
He stayed inside me, just breathing, his cheek to my cheek until he calmed.
When he raised his head again he was smiling, eyes warm as they fixed on mine.
“Just like riding a fucking bike,” he said.
“I don’t feel well,” Mia said. “I’m sick.”
I pressed a hand to her forehead. “You don’t feel hot.”
“But I am!”
“You seemed fine last night.” I put my hand on her shoulder and she was tense. “Are you really sick, or is this Monday-morning-itis?”
She shook her head, pulled away from me and grabbed her school bag. “I dunno,” she said.
At least she was honest about it.
I looked at the clock – almost time to go.
“Mia, if there’s a reason you don’t want to go to school today…”
“I’m fine,” she said. “I want to go to school. It’s nothing.”
I’d been keeping an eye on her for days, any sign of school problems and I’d have been on it like a shot, but I’d seen nothing. Heard nothing.
She’d seemed happy. She’d seemed totally herself, laughing away to Daisy on Skype like life was roses.
“Do you want to stay home with Nanna?” I asked. “I’ve got extra hours this morning, but I can be home by lunchtime if you’re not well. I’m sure Lorraine would call in cover if I asked her.”
She sighed. “No, Mum, it’s cool. I’ve got an English test, anyway.” I stared at her until she met my eyes. “I’m good, Mum, I don’t even feel sick now.”
The time was ticking. Even Ruby was ready to go, which meant we were certainly cutting it fine.
“I’ll go to school,” she said. “Really, I’m good. Me and Daisy are doing maths revision at lunch.”
“Ok,” I said. “But if you feel ill at all you make sure you head up to medical and I’ll come and pick you up. Deal?”
“Deal,” she said.
We piled out to the car and I felt uneasy, but Mia busied herself on her phone and gave no indication that anything was really off with her. I dropped her at the bus stop and watched her join the crowd, making sure I hovered in the pull-in long enough to keep an eye out.
She seemed fine, still tapping away on her phone without any sign of stress or illness. Maybe it was a five-minute blip. Maybe she was old enough to be getting her period. Maybe she slept funny.
Who could possibly know?
It appeared big-eared Ruby Trent could know.
“It’s Tyler Dean,” she announced when we were on our way. “He had tonsillitis. He’s back today. Probably.”
My stomach dropped. The kid with the glasses, the kid I’d been keeping an eye out at the bus stop for and hadn’t seen hide nor hair of. The kid I’d asked Mia about time after time and got nothing back from her but bravado and he’s just a stupid idiot who calls me stupid names and shrugs.
“You heard this from Skype, did you?”
Ruby nodded, her smile smug. She leaned forward from the backseat until her belt strained. “Don’t worry, Mum. I’ve been keeping an eye on things.”
“Oh, you have, have you?” I said. “And this is the first you thought to share the details of your covert operation?”
She shrugged. “Mia’s already mad at me for telling Dad he’s a gigolo. She said if I say anything else I’m banned from her bedroom, and she has a better TV than me.”
Priorities.
“Mia can be mad at you all she wants,” I said. “We don’t have secrets in our house, understand? If something’s going on we talk about it.”
Unless it’s me booty-calling your father. We definitely won’t be talking about that little secret.
My tummy was a fluttery mess again, ridiculous.
I considered turning the car around and driving Mia right up to the school gates, but the bus would likely have been already. I marked it down for an urgent after-school chat and left it at that.