And another. Don’t let her get to you. I can’t believe you ever thought she’d really have you back. x
I threw my phone against the wall and the screen fizzled and went black. I threw my beer can after it. It caught the framed picture of Ruby and Mia on the roundabout up by my parents’ house, and the whole thing swayed and then slipped from its hook. It landed with a crash of splintered glass. I pulled the photo from the wreckage and my girls smiled out at me.
I’d give anything to be with those girls. Any fucking thing.
But that wasn’t it. Not even close. That didn’t even come close to justifying how much I wanted to be back in Jodie’s bed, back in her life, back in her arms at night.
Anger, so much anger, anger at that bitch Lorraine, anger at myself. Anger that I couldn’t fucking say what I needed to say, couldn’t put it out there enough to drive to Jodie’s and tell her how it fucking was, tell her that I’d rather cut my fucking dick off than have her at some dirty fucking gangbang at Lorraine’s house.
Tell her it was breaking my fucking heart.
That she was breaking my fucking heart.
That my heart had been fucking broken since the day she told me it was over. Since the day she’d finally packed up her things and left me on my fucking own.
It’d been a long fucking time since I’d cried actual tears over Jodie Symmonds.
The last time had been in Lorraine’s seedy fucking arms, her greedy fucking cunt eating me up and making it all better.
Like Lorraine could ever fucking make it better.
Nothing would ever make it fucking better.
Still nothing from Darren. I stared at my phone and scowled, shoving it back in my apron pocket before Lorraine caught wind of it.
“Excited for tonight?” she said.
I nodded. “Should be fun.”
She came close. “You shopping for you and Darren?”
I didn’t answer.
She nudged me in the arm. “Oh come on, Jodie. Don’t think I’m not aware you two are back together. I know I was… concerned… but we’re friends, aren’t we?”
I smiled. “Yeah, we’re friends.”
“So,” she prompted. “What are you going to be shopping for?”
I felt a blush brewing. “I don’t know!” I kept my smile coy. “I’ll have to keep an open mind, won’t I? I’m sure something will take my fancy.”
I didn’t say that he was being a dick, that he was barely speaking to me, that I’d told him I loved him and he’d cooled off faster than a hotdog in the snow.
That still fucking hurt.
“Seven-thirty,” she said. “Prompt. Make sure you’re there on the dot, alright? We have some games planned.”
I rolled my eyes. “Christ, Lorraine, I dread to think. Don’t think I’m doing any of that pass the vibrator between your knees rubbish.”
“Spoilsport,” she scoffed. “Seven-thirty, right?”
I ditched my apron, shift done. “Seven-thirty,” I said. “Don’t worry, I’ll be on time.”
“Can’t wait.” She grinned.
My phone was trashed, wouldn’t even start up.
I left it on the desk in the garage and tried to get on with the backlog of car services, tried to pretend I didn’t give a shit about this gangbang at Lorraine’s, that it didn’t matter if Jodie was there or not, that it didn’t matter if she really loved me.
I’ll be alright, I told myself.
I’ll get through it, just like last time.
The guys said virtually nothing all fucking day, banter well and truly dead to the bone.
“Did you talk to her?” Buck asked before they left for the day. “Please fucking tell me you talked to her?”
I shrugged. “Not my business, Buck.”
He shook his head. “You’re a fucking idiot, Trent.”
“Yeah, well, better to be a fucking idiot than played for a fucking idiot.”
He slapped my back. “Ain’t none of us gonna be touching your missus, don’t you be fucking worrying about that.”
I nodded.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” he said. “Talk to her.”
I tried to keep busy at the yard, but the clock kept fucking ticking. I couldn’t stop fucking looking at it.
When the time neared seven I couldn’t fucking take it, couldn’t stay fucking still.
I tried to remember Jo’s mobile number, to call her from the landline, but it’d been so fucking long since I’d dialled it manually that I couldn’t fucking dredge it from my brain.
Shit.
I could make seven-fifteen, but only if I raced like a fucking idiot.
I raced like a fucking idiot.
I pulled up outside Lorraine’s with a big fucking screech. Bailed out of the truck without even locking it. I threw myself through the front door and along the hallway, swinging the living room door open wide as I called Jodie’s name.
Jesus fucking wept.
Jodie wasn’t anywhere to be seen, but she was about the only one.
Naked fucking bodies everywhere. I tried to keep my eyes on the faces and not the bouncing tits and gaping fucking pussy all over the place. Mandy Taylor, her cunt stretched around Buck’s dick, Petey riding her fucking asshole at the same time. Debbie Gibson with Hugh’s dick down her throat, makeup and spit all over her dirty fucking face.