She doesn’t miss a beat. “Did you miss your period?”
I nod before I realize she can’t see the gesture. “Yeah.”
“Oh my God,” Sarah breathes. “Luce, you need to get a pregnancy test, like, stat. Do you have one?”
My heart begins to pound and my mouth goes bone-dry. This could be it: the moment I’ve dreamed of for years. I’ve wanted a baby for so long, and with only a few months of the semester left, the timing would be impeccable. But does Brandon really want to have a baby with me, or was he just being nice? Is this the future he desires too?
“Um,” I say.
“Lucy, you need to stay calm, okay?” Sarah commands. “You can do this. You just need to take a pregnancy test. It’s no big deal. Have you ever taken one before?”
“No,” I whisper. “Because Jasper and I always used condoms, so there was no need.”
“Do you and Brandon use condoms too?”
“Yes,” I whisper. “I mean, most of the time, but sometimes we just… You know…”
“Do you need me to bring you a test?” Sarah asks swiftly. “I have a whole big box of them, just in case.”
“Hold on,” I say. I think I bought a test when Jasper and I first started dating, but I don’t entirely remember. I put down the phone and dig through the cabinet underneath the sink. After emerging with two half-empty bottles of lotion, three hairbrushes, a bottle of white vinegar, and some old makeup, I triumphantly pull out a box of two pregnancy tests. I peer at the expiration date on the top of the package and sigh in relief. We’re in luck.
“I’ve got some,” I tell Sarah.
“Okay. You know what to do, right?”
“I mean, I’ve got the general idea,” I say nervously.
“Just read the instructions and call me back as soon as you get the results. Okay? I love you!”
“I love you, too.”
I end the call and stare at the pregnancy test I’ve withdrawn from the box. One line means not pregnant. Two lines means pregnant. That seems straightforward enough.
Unfolding the instructions from the box, I follow them as carefully as I can. Then, it’s time to wait. I set a timer on my phone for three minutes and sit on the toilet with my head in my hands. I could scroll through social media, or find something dumb online to occupy my attention, but I’m too nervous to do anything but sit. My face feels hot but my limbs feel cold, as if the blood has stopped circulating through my extremities. My heart beats faster than normal, a tempo that I try and fail to slow with some big, deep breaths.
This could be it, Lucy, I say to myself. This could be the answer to your dreams.
But then my train of thought is derailed by the timer on my cell going off. I’m so startled that I almost fall off the toilet. I take one more deep breath and then grab the pregnancy test.
Two vertical pink lines.
Oh, my God. I’m pregnant!
I don’t even process the thought before calling Sarah back, almost dropping the phone because my hands are shaking so badly.
“What’s the verdict?” she asks before I can say anything.
I swallow hard. Tears have sprung up in my eyes. They’re tears of gratitude, fear, excitement, and joy all at once. I’m utterly overwhelmed.
“I… I…” I stutter, unable to get the words out of my mouth.
“Oh, my God,” Sarah squeals. “Are you pregnant?”
I start to cry and my friend shrieks. I hold the phone away from my ear, laughing and weeping simultaneously.
“Oh, my God!” my best friend screams again. “Lucy! You’re going to be a mama, just like you’ve always wanted!”
I nod silently, tears streaming in rivulets down my face as I press my shaking hand to my mouth. I can’t stop staring at the pregnancy test, and can’t stop appreciating the beautiful shade of pink of those two vertical lines. I’ve daydreamed about this moment and have even had fantasies at night about becoming pregnant. My heart has been aligned to my purpose as a mother for several years, and now, my body is ready to make it a reality. I may be young, but I’m ready. I know I am.
“Do you want me to come over?” Sarah asks.
“Yes, but not right now,” I answer in a rush. “I need to tell Brandon first.” I laugh through my tears. “I made him banana bread and now I’m going to tell him we’re having a baby too.”
Sarah laugh, too. “Good luck, Luce. If anything goes wrong or if he says anything negative, just remember, I’m ready to key his car.”
I laugh, but then shake my head. “He won’t. It’s going to be amazing, don’t worry. I have to go. I love you.”
I end the call, throw out the pregnancy test, wash my hands, and run to the kitchen. Then I toss the banana bread loaf into a big Tupperware container and nearly sprint to my car.