She snorted. “You’re a Neanderthal.” She bent and began to dress. Much to his dismay. This isn’t how he wanted their short affair to end.
* * * *
Jude pulled on her nightgown and robe, avoiding eye contact with Beckette. Her mind spun as her feet carried her back to the bed of sin, and she furiously tugged at the sheets where she’d lost her virginity…and her heart. She’d thought by protected, he’d meant her heart. How could she have been so stupid?
She stripped the sheets right out from under him. “Thank you so much for all you’ve done.” She’d almost let this man ejaculate inside her. Forging a child together would decimate his trust in her…and her self-respect.
He rose and stood silently on the opposite side of the bed, his powerful arms crossed as if he were proud of his nakedness. He’d be devastated by her lack of appreciation right now. She was supposed to be lying in his arms like a warm, satiated kitten or something. At least that’s what she’d read in her books, but panic wouldn’t allow her to bask in the glow.
Jude glanced up at him as she bundled the sheets into a ball.
He cocked a beastly brow. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“Cleaning up. Then leaving. You quite exhausted me.” All she could think about was getting to her room to use vaginal cleanser and hopefully eradicate any and all of his sperm before they fertilized her egg. She would not do this to him. She wouldn’t do this to herself. Not now that she’d…fallen for him?
Her heart clenched. She lifted the bundle and marched toward the door. “I’ll have these cleaned for you.”
“Wait!”
She turned back to him and he held out her torn jacket. “I fixed the pocket.”
Jude’s heart fractured, her stomach sank and all her dreams of having a baby flew right out the window. How could she be so unethical and disloyal and careless as to mistakenly trap a man she cared about? And how could she even consider sharing something so intimate and poignant with someone else?
She couldn’t.
Her heart was lost forever to this man. This sweet, damaged man who’d shown her what love was really about. It wasn’t about dinners and fancy flowers and expensive rings. Love wasn’t a thing. It was when the one she loved sat in his cold, lonely room in the basement and sewed a patch on her favorite coat.
Thirteen
“I never think of the future—
it comes soon enough.”
Albert Einstein
A loud banging rattled the door to her suite, and Jude’s breakfast rose in her throat.
“Jude Duffy, open this goddamned door right now!” Beckette. Each vicious knock thumped through her heart. “Did you think I wouldn’t find out?”
Find out what?
She rose from the bed and opened the door to be faced with a raging lunatic.
“You were trying to trap me by getting pregnant with my child?”
His words stopped the aching, fluttering organ in her chest. “I-I’m sorry, but that’s not actually how it is.” All the guilt and shame rose through her body like lava rising through the ashes of a volcano. She was despicable.
He stormed into the room and threw a beautiful bouquet of sweet peas and lavender on the floor. “That’s not what the sex shop girl had to say. She works at the florist, too. She said you had big plans to have sex so you could get pregnant!” He spun to face her. “Could you be pregnant? Was I just part of your ridiculous plan?”
She brought her eyes to his, stormy and dark, filled with loathing. She didn’t want this wonderful man to loathe her. What had she done?
She turned her back to him and paced. She needed to reason this all out. “Maybe, yes…no… Oh, I don’t know! I douched and cleansed and did everything I could when I got back to my room to prevent pregnancy.”
His mouth dropped open. “The idea of having my kid was so disgusting that you douched? What, did you want Fantome’s kid more?”
She’d hurt him. “No. No, I just…just.” Anger rose like a burning flame. After all the time they’d spent getting to know each other, he thought she was this wretched?
She sat on the bed and took a deep breath. She had been wretched. Shamefully idiotic with her whole plan. She’d come to her senses, given up on all of it since they’d been together. He’d showed her she was worthy of love. Someone was out there for her. She wanted the whole package.