“Yeah. It’s sex.” I scratched my chin and looked down. “He told me last night he’s looking to date again and told me about this girl he met. Well, he hasn’t met her yet, but they’re talking.”
Kinsley nodded slowly. “And you’re against this because you have feelings for him?”
“Yes,” I said very carefully, staring at my laptop. “I don’t want to tell him how I feel because I’m almost certain he doesn’t feel the same, since he told me about this girl.”
“Maybe he said it to see how you’d react.”
“That’s true,” Say said, wiggling her pencil at Kinsley. “Testing the waters a little. How did you react?”
“If—and that’s a big if—that’s true, then I didn’t react the correct way.” I chewed on my lower lip. “I told him that if she’s his type then he should go for it.”
My friends both groaned, and Kinsley covered her face with her hands.
Yeah.
That about summed it up.
But there was no way Colton was testing me. Was there?
“You’re going to have to be honest,” Say said after a moment. “Because if you have feelings for this guy, you’re going to need to either come clean or end whatever is going on between you. It’s only going to hurt you in the long run if you don’t.”
“Right, and I know that. I do.” I toyed with the edge of my notebook, folding the piece of paper back and forth. “But it’s not that simple, is it? I can’t just say, “Oh, hey, please don’t date that woman even though she sounds like she’s literally perfect for you.” I just can’t do that.”
“No, you can’t.” Kinsley met my eyes with a sympathetic look. “But you can say that you can’t keep going on with your relationship as it is now because of your feelings. It either evolves or it ends.”
“It’s just not that simple.” I forced a smile and piled everything on top of my laptop. “Thanks, girls, but I have to go. I have a call soon. I’ll see you later.” I shoved everything inside my laptop bag and left the bookstore, leaving them both staring after me.
I didn’t want to consider Colton having feelings for me. That made all of this even harder. Besides, it just wasn’t…
I didn’t know how to say it, but it just didn’t make sense.
I sniffed back any emotion that was threatening to overwhelm me and headed for the café. Maybe the girls were right. Our relationship had to either evolve or end, and since I couldn’t see it evolving, ending was the right option.
But I knew that.
I’d known that for a long time.
I pushed the café door open. I was in the mood for some soup with a sandwich to take home and eat at my dining-table-come-desk. Johanna wasn’t around and neither was Felicity, so I placed my order with the unfamiliar woman behind the counter and waited.
Thankfully, it didn’t take long for my food to be ready, so I snatched it up and headed for home. The sun was out and shining and I’d been walking all over town, so by the time I made it back to my apartment building, I was completely exhausted.
I was going to eat lunch then take a nap.
That was the plan, at least.
I went inside and, after checking on the cat, reheated the soup in the microwave, then sat down to eat.
Maybe honesty was the way to go.
Maybe I just had to sit down with Colton and tell him the truth.
I eyed my phone. I could text him. That would do it easily. Just spit it out. Get it over and done with.
I blew out a long breath and pushed my empty bowl to the side. God, this sucked. I sucked. What was wrong with me?
A knock sounded at my door and I frowned.
Who was this person, coming by unannounced?
Sorry. My front door wasn’t for random visits.
“Tori!”
Oh.
Kinsley.
Grrrreat.
I got up and opened the door. “You do know I don’t accept unscheduled visitors.”
She smiled. “We need to talk.”
“We do?” I turned and went back inside. “If it’s about those designs, tell Holley it’s not my fault. I just do what I’m paid to do.”
Kinsley closed the door behind her. “Tori, I know.”
“Know what?” I looked at her with a blank expression. “What are you talking about?”
She drew in a deep breath and straightened up. “I know about you and Colton.”
I blinked. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I know you’ve been hooking up for the last few months, and I know he’s the person you were talking about today.”
I pressed my lips together.
“And I’m the reason you feel like this,” she said, wrapping her arms around her waist. “So I’m sorry.”
I shrugged a shoulder. “How did you find out?”
“I saw your car near his house a few times. It was always late, and it was gone by morning. He’s been defensive about what he’s been doing in his spare time, and so have you. You’d often not be available at the same times, so I assumed you were secretly dating.”