“You can’t just march in there and demand answers to your questions,” she said, her voice thick. “Right? It’s too dangerous.”
Please don’t go.
As if she’d spoken out loud, his eyes plead for her understanding. “He wants the oath of fealty I refused to give to him. Giving this oath would mean I could never challenge his seat, something only I can do. I’m going to offer the oath now in exchange for leniency. And above all, your safety.”
Ginny reached for her closing throat. “What if he says no?”
“I can’t live forever in fear of you being taken from me. If he seeks to get me back in line by hurting you, I can’t ignore the problem. I have to face this head on. Please understand.”
“He could put you to death for breaking the rules,” she said brokenly, standing and pulling him close by the front of his shirt. “Don’t. Please don’t.”
“Ginny…” he said miserably against her forehead.
A realization occurred and she clung to it like a life preserver. “How are you going to survive? If you go, you have to take me with you.”
“Never.” Never was a firmer word spoken. His glittering eyes accompanied it in a plume of green sparks. “You will stay here with Elias and Tucker. I will do everything in my power to come back to you.” He paused, looking away. “And if I can’t, your life will be much safer. Trust me on that, love.”
“So much for compromise,” she gasped, fleeing to the bathroom and locking the door behind her. Nothing was within her control.
Nothing.
After experiencing the sensation of free falling that night, she desperately needed the opposite. Firm ground. A clear plan. Waiting and hoping things worked out might be the way she’d operated in the past, but not now. This was her future on the line and she didn’t want to wait and be guided down a predetermined path by the hand of fate, she wanted to carve the damn path herself. The fragile human had to remain behind and…
Fragile human.
She’d just sat down on the lip of the bathtub when someone rapped on the bathroom door three times. Her mind was still spinning with possibilities—was she really considering this?—so she ignored the knocking and continued to think.
The metal doorknob lock popped open and Jonas took a brisk step inside, closing the door behind him. “I can’t leave with you angry at me.”
She swiped a tear away before it could fall. “Maybe I’ll stay angry forever so you have to stay.”
“Ah, Ginny. Don’t break my heart.”
“Don’t break mine,” she whispered. “I’m in love with you. And you could go tonight and never come back. Because of me.”
Clearly ignoring every word out of her mouth, he came toward her as she spoke and knelt at her feet, gathering her resistant body and drawing her close, despite her protests. “Don’t you dare tell me you love me and push me away.”
“You can’t compromise only when it’s convenient, Jonas.” She twisted in his arms and he purposely lost balance. Ginny ending up on the floor in his lap, his arms around her like steel bands. “That’s not how it works.”
“I’m in love with you, too,” he said gruffly into her hair. “And now I know why it overwhelms me at every turn, this love I have for you. It’s been fucking doubled. I’ve been struck down twice by the same beautiful soul.”
“Is it my soul you love most?”
He took her chin, lifting it so they made eye contact. “It’s all of you,” he answered, almost angrily. “Your soul, your heart, your body. I said everything.”
“Will those things change if I become like you?”
Jonas reared back like he’d been struck. “What did you say?”
She said nothing for a moment, simply letting him see she was serious. It took an effort to struggle free of his arms, but she managed it and gained her feet. “My lifetime is going to pass in the blink of an eye for you. And every single second of it, we’ll be worrying about it being cut short too soon.”
“Ginny, stop this,” he breathed, standing. “Turn around and look at the mirror.”
With a heavy swallow, she glanced back over her shoulder, finding herself alone in the bathroom, even though she knew she wasn’t. Could never mistake being alone with standing beside the magnetic life force that was Jonas. “If your argument is I won’t be able to look at myself in the mirror, you’re going to have to do better.”
He seized her shoulders. “I will worship you no matter what form you’re in, but you could hate yourself like I did. I won’t be responsible for extinguishing your humanity. For making you dependent on blood. I won’t.”
“You will. Because I won’t live without you. And changing me will protect you against the High Order. Don’t leave me behind with the knowledge that I’m the reason you were put to death.”