She held out a hand, and he placed three light orange balls in her palm. She munched as she thought. “Mr. Murdock, our environmental science teacher?”
“Yep!”
“The one with the toupee?”
“You can have him keep it on or take it off. It’s your fantasy.”
She pegged him in the forehead with an orange cheese puff. “This is not my fantasy. This is mean.”
“You have to pick.”
“Fine.” She groaned. “I guess I’d marry Old Man McGinty, fuck Father Mark, and kill poor Mr. Murdock.”
Pat gasped dramatically. “You dirty little harlot. You’d fuck the priest?”
“He’s the youngest! The other two are crypt keepers.”
“Ageist and a sinner. Okay.”
She giggled. “Maybe a little bit of a gold digger, too. I’d inherit McGinty’s fortune and become the Queen merchant of all of Jasper Falls.”
Shaking his head in mock disapproval, he tsked. “Shameless.”
She stretched and brushed the orange crumbs off her fingers. “It feels good to act shamelessly for once. I’m so tired of always trying to do what other people expect of me or worse, trying to guess what they want.”
He turned to face her. “Then don’t. Just be yourself. If someone doesn’t like it, they don’t have to be around you. But the people who stick by your side… You’ll know they genuinely love you.”
Her smile softened. “Have you always been this sweet?”
“When it comes to you? Probably.”
“Why me? Never mind.” She didn’t want to seem needy or make him think she was fishing for compliments. But she was needy at the moment, and fragile, and he was repairing so many of her broken parts, she was getting greedy.
He stared at her, his eyes holding a world of secrets she wanted to unravel. “I don’t know. You were always just…nice to me.”
“Were other people mean to you?” She didn’t recall Pat ever getting bullied.
He shrugged, and his gaze shifted to the fire. “No, not with Ryan and all my older cousins around. But I knew where I ranked on the totem pole.”
“What do you mean?” Her heart pinched at the thought of others overlooking him. Had she been one of them? She always thought they had a genuine friendship. And if she had known his feelings, she surely wouldn’t have made some of the decisions she had.
He shrugged. “I was the scrawny kid with red hair, glasses, and freckles. And my acne days were a real treat. Guys overlooked me and girls looked through me.”
“I never looked through you, Patrick.”
He met her stare with something challenging in his green eyes, and she accepted that perhaps she had. She’d been oblivious to his feelings up until this week. Guilt washed over her.
“It’s fine.” He turned his head again to watch the fire.
But it wasn’t fine. It made her feel like a bad friend. “I saw you, Patrick. I remember almost every single time you and I were alone. I might not have known your feelings, but I knew how you made me feel. I was always safe with you. I could trust you, count on you. Aside from Jo, who was always closer to Sheilagh, you were probably my closest friend growing up. And when you cut me off… I felt it.”
He turned his head, to say something but rather, rose and kissed her. “I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”
It was such a soft, genuine kiss, as if it wasn’t a kiss at all but a delicate truth he couldn’t undo. Lance never kissed her like that—or apologized.
Her fingers stroked the stubble at his jaw, and she smiled, in awe of the man he’d become. “For the record, I always loved your red hair and freckles. And I thought your glasses made you look smart.”
When he kissed again her, it was with purpose. It didn’t take long for him to find his way back inside of her.
That night they made love several times in front of the fire, just as he promised. In between kissing and fooling around, they talked and rummaged through the cabinets. As midnight approached, she suffered a sort of Cinderella dread, like the dream might suddenly end and all of this magic would be ripped away. She wanted to stay hidden in the woods with him as long as she could.
“We can stay until morning,” he whispered, softly stroking her hair as they spooned, facing the hypnotic fire.
“Okay.” She had nothing to do and wanted nothing more than to stay hidden away from the world, wrapped in the safety of his arms.
He kissed her ear then pulled the covers over her shoulder. “Try to get some sleep.”
But she didn’t sleep. She stayed up most the night, listening to his steady breathing, wondering what her future might look like, and savoring the sensation of being held safely by a friend.
Chapter 13
“Where the hell have you been?” his mother shrilled. “I’ve had half the town out looking for you! Your brother is getting married tomorrow, and you’re supposed to be his best man!”