“Wait, so you were doing something that you had college training to do?”
“Yes, but…” It was more complicated than that. “I wasn’t cut out for the work. I…”
His hand covered hers. “Julie, you wouldn’t have a diploma if you weren’t qualified to do that sort of work. Whoever told you otherwise, underestimated you.”
She poked at her food, no longer hungry. “It doesn’t matter anymore anyway. After I left, I never went back.”
“So, what did you do?”
She scoffed. “Laundry. I shopped for household items I didn’t need. I made projects out of organizing closets and the pantry and anything else I could do to fill up my days. With no kids, it gets a little boring being home alone.”
“Do you want kids?”
She used to dream about being a mother, but she’d been so concerned about her mental state lately and the circumstances at home, she now worried that dream might be unwise. The more Lance revealed his true self, the more she worried about his parenting qualifications. But it wasn’t just Lance she worried about. The thought of being responsible for others right now, terrified her. “I don’t know if I’d be a good mother.”
“What are you talking about? You’d be a great mom. You’re patient and kind and funny. If you want kids, don’t let doubt slow you down.”
She thought about her own mother, who lived within the strict confines of her faith and only spoke in terms of worries and setbacks. It was amazing they weren’t more screwed up. “I can’t think about kids right now. I can barely take care of myself.”
“Hey, you’ll get back on your feet. Just give it time.”
She appreciated his confidence. “Thanks. I hope you’re right.”
“How about we find some thermoses, grab some coffee, and go on an adventure like old times?”
She looked down at her dress. “I’m not really dressed for a hike.”
He pointed to the wall where a shelf hung. Plaid flannel and gray cotton folded in a stack. “What about shoes?”
He glanced under the table at her flats. “That might be an issue. What if we take it slow and stick to the trail?”
“That should be fine.”
After breakfast, she changed while Pat did the dishes and made up the thermoses of coffee. She emerged from the bathroom and couldn’t stop laughing. If this ensemble was supposed to tempt a man, boy had she been doing it wrong all these years.
When he turned and first spotted her, his eyes widened, his gaze stroking slowly from her head to toes. She’d pulled her hair into a messy bun and tied the oversized flannel at her ribs. The pants were several sizes too big, so she rolled them at her waist and cuffed the extra material at her ankles. With her ballet flats, she was certain she looked ridiculous.
“You look like a magic genie. If I rub you, do I get three wishes?”
“Depends what you ask for.”
His brows shot up. “I’ll have to think about that.”
They walked the trail beside the creek and saw some trout along the way. At the falls they looked for bear but didn’t see any. They did spot a few deer, but nothing was cuter than the chipmunks scurrying about the roots and boulders.
“How are your feet holding up?”
She looked down at her delicate shoes, resigned to this being the last time she’d wear them. Her feet were starting to hurt. “They’ve been better.”
“Then we should head back.”
When they walked over an uneven patch of ground, he took her arm so she wouldn’t fall. Pat had always been thoughtful of others, but there was something different about the way he treated her now. He was careful with her and always checking in with little questions, like if the sun was getting to her or if she needed to rest.
Lance was never that attentive. And if she ever complained about any form of discomfort, he usually acted like she was making a big deal out of nothing. Come to think of it, she’d become a bit of a liar, stuffing down the littlest complaint so it didn’t come back and bite her in the ass later. He was notorious for throwing things in her face long after-the-fact.
It was refreshing to spend an afternoon with Pat. He didn’t complain or point out what she was doing wrong. He was polite and helpful. He smiled easily, and he made her smile, too.
By the time they returned to the cabin, the sun had hit its high point and she was overheated. She sat outside on the rocking chair, giving her feet much needed rest. Peeling off her ruined little shoes, which had gotten caked with mud, she winced at the sting of a blister forming.
The screen door opened and Pat appeared with two glasses of water. “Ouch. Let me see that.”
“It’s fine.” She dropped her foot and took the water.