“He doesn’t need me. He’s already said he’d move on if I left.”
“So? Let him. He’d be doing you a favor.”
Her gaze filled with sorrow as she stared up at him with bleak, hollow hope, as fragile as glass, in her shimmering eyes. “He’s all I’ve ever known. I’ve never been with anyone else. What if he’s right? What if there’s something wrong with me—”
“No,” he snapped. “There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, so get that thought out of your head right now.”
“Then why is he the only man who’s ever wanted me?”
His jaw practically unhinged. Was she kidding? “Julie, guys have wanted you since first grade. What the hell are you talking about?” He still remembered punching Steve Gumbo in the stomach when he said he was gonna marry her. They were only in middle school then, but Pat already decided she was his.
“Who? That’s ridiculous.”
Now he did look at her like she was crazy. “No, it’s not. Trust me.”
Her expression shuttered. “I can’t trust anyone until I can trust myself. And you lied to me.”
His gaze lowered in shame. “I’m sorry. I know that doesn’t change what I did, but I can make you a promise.” He met her stare and looked directly into her eyes. “I swear, I’ll never lie to you again. From here on, you’ll have nothing but absolute honesty from me.”
Her smile was slow and delicate. “Tell me who wanted me. I don’t believe there were all these guys like you say.”
He sat back and shook off his shock. “Wow, you played me.”
“No, I’m mad about the lie. But if you swear to tell me the truth, let’s test your word.”
He had to laugh. It was the first glimpse of her usual, clever, feisty self, and he’d take that any day over the weepy, uncertain creature who cried in his arms. Was this it? Was this when it would finally come out?
He hesitated a moment, considering if this was a bad decision or the perfect opportunity to finally tell her the truth, the one secret he’d always wanted her to know.
“You have to promise me something first.”
“Okay.”
“Promise you’ll stay with me until the candle burns out.”
Her smile was almost childlike. “Okay.”
He drew in a galvanizing breath and let it out slowly. “Jeff Fields had a crush on you in fifth grade.”
“Ew, he used to pull my hair.”
“Exactly. In sixth grade, it was John Fox. In seventh—that was a big year for you—”
“Boobs.”
“Exactly. In seventh, it was Kelly McCullough, Rich Stack, Jim Brice, and Ron Johnson.”
“Kelly McCullough had a crush on me?” she sounded almost thrilled.
“Yes.” His cousin was easily the best looking guy in Jasper Falls and could have gotten any girl he wanted, regardless of their age, even back then. The only reason he didn’t go after Julie, was because Pat begged him not to.
“Wow.” She smiled. “I never knew I was that popular.”
Remembering how many guys he had run interference with, exhausted him. “Then in eighth grade it was Lance Bassett.”
Her smile vanished. “Lance always had a gift for getting exactly what he wanted.”
“But he wasn’t the one who wanted you most.”
She met his stare, her eyes questioning. His heart raced in a riotous pattern, beating hard then faster until it felt ready to burst out of his chest.
“Who wanted me most?” she rasped.
He held her stare, willing her to read the thoughts right from his head. He could see it all, playing like a carousel of memories through his mind. The day she shared her pudding cup in kindergarten, the time he scraped his knee after falling off his bike and she helped him walk it home, the time she threw up in the lake when she watched him hook a worm, the day they rescued a bird that had fallen from its nest, the time he pecked her cheek just before he blew out the candles on his birthday cake—wishing with all of his birthday magic that she might love him half as much as he loved her. It was all there, an abundance of nostalgia he could hear, see, and smell, as real as the clothes on his skin and the air in his lungs. She was everything he’d always wanted, and the one thing he accepted he’d never have.
“Pat?” His name was an almost silent plea in the shadows as she searched his stare.
“I’ve loved you since the day I met you, Jules.”
He saw it then, the innocent truth that she never knew. “But…you never said anything.”
“I was always waiting for the right time. Then…I waited too long.”
Her brow pinched and she turned her gaze to the floor. “How long?”
“Always. Since kindergarten.” He softly caught her chin and turned her stare back to him. “It doesn’t have to change anything, Jules. I don’t expect—”
She covered his mouth and he stared over the top of her hand. “You liked me?”