But Roy…
I never knew him, really. He was such a recluse. He spent most of his time in his room when he was home, and though he took some of our father’s abuse, most of it was saved for me.
I didn’t let myself think about it most of the time, but damn…
I’d taken a lot of physical abuse from the man.
His hand. His belt. A yard stick once, and not just a regular yard stick, but a thick one. He beat me over the ass and back with it, leaving marks.
The marks had faded over time and were now hardly visible.
Even now, I remembered the pain.
Remembered biting my lip to bleeding to keep from crying out, determined he’d never hear me wail.
I hadn’t always been successful, but most of the time I was able to hold back.
It just pissed him off more, and he took it out on my hide.
It was a miracle I didn’t have more scarring than I did. Just a few marks on my back that looked like nothing more than stretch marks from a growth spurt during adolescence. Most people never noticed them, and if they did, I gave them the stretch mark story.
I didn’t dare make any of this public now. Only gave me more of a motive to have him done in. Same reason why Riley hadn’t gone public—not that she’d want to anyway. What she went through was intensely private and I honestly didn’t want to know. My imagination was bad enough.
And Zee…
Those scars at the top of her breasts. I still didn’t know her whole story, and…
Damn.
I had to find her. I just had to. She couldn’t go through more.
If only I’d let her be.
She’d be home now, in Vegas, in her bed but possibly still awake after her ten o’clock show.
Why hadn’t I left well enough alone?
I wouldn’t know the love I feel, but she’d be safe. Safe and sound and free of all the shit I’d piled on her.
As God is my witness, when I find you, Zee, I’ll let you go. Let you live your life. And I’ll take care of you. You’ll have whatever you need and want for the rest of your life, and if part of that is to never see me again, I’ll grant it. Anything you desire, Zee. Anything.
Even if it breaks my heart.
Rock nudged me out of my thoughts.
“Yeah?” I whispered.
“Do they still have those credit card phones on planes like they did back in the early two thousands?”
“They discontinued that service in 2006. Where’ve you been?”
“In Montana, dude, and not having a lot of cash to be flying places.”
I nodded. How easy it was to forget where we’d all been a mere fifteen years ago, when so much had happened in our lives in the last month.
“We need to call Roy. Find out if what Nieves said is true,” Rock said.
“In an emergency, the flight crew can make a call for us,” I said, “but we don’t want to draw attention to ourselves. It’ll have to wait until we land.”
“Fuck.” Rock inhaled sharply.
“I know. I think she’s either lying, or whoever it was used Roy’s name. It definitely wasn’t Roy.” I wanted to believe my words. In fact, I did. Sort of.
“Something doesn’t sit right with me,” Rock said. “It couldn’t have been Dad. I know that was our first thought, but it couldn’t have been, right? Not when he was dead an hour later.”
“Don’t know.” I let out a sigh. “I just don’t fucking know.”
“I don’t think Nieves is lying,” Rock said after a pause. “We’ve got her good and scared. Remember when I told you I was sending someone in to frighten her? She disappeared before he got there.”
“Why do you think she’s scared, then?”
“Just the look on her face tonight. She’s usually confident as all hell, but now she’s in over her head.”
“I’m wondering…”
“What?”
My mind raced. “If we can find a way to pin this whole thing on her and Hoss. Manny, too.”
“What about Leta?”
“She’s been through enough.”
“You know,” Rock said, “Leta and Manny may have just been along for the ride, but they’re every bit as responsible as Nieves and Hoss are.”
I nodded. Rock was right. We couldn’t go soft.
“I can’t believe what I’m about to say…” Rock went on.
“What?”
He shook his head and adjusted his Yankees cap. “They’re cunts, all of them, but they didn’t kill our father. Pinning it on another innocent person isn’t the answer.”
I sighed. He was right, of course. At least Zee had an ironclad alibi. She was safe from charges.
But was she safe from everything else?
I was on my way to her. I had to believe that. Those GPS coordinates had been left for a reason. The question was…did Father Jim try to kill himself? Or did someone else make it look like he had?