“What about Lycan’s?” It’s a challenge I’m not sure I’ll win, but I have to try.
3
Darius
She’s right.
Fuck, she’s so fucking right.
“Yeah,” I respond in a whisper of regret and guilt. “That was… That was my anger that took a hold of me, it got the better of me and I allowed it.” As much as I hate admitting I was wrong, I have to because it’s true. I wanted my brother to pay for staying in that house, for being the favorite son, but all this time, all I did was rob myself of a family I could’ve had with him. And now, he’s in fucking ICU because of me.
The rage which fueled my actions as it burned through me has simmered into almost nothing. It’s still warm in my veins, but as I consider her words, and my response, my chest tightens. Lycan is still my brother. It doesn’t help that his wife keeps needling away at my anger, getting in my head with her words.
“I need to know if he’s okay,” Scarlett pleads, her eyes shining with pain and worry.
I realize I’ve done this to her. Not just her, but Lycan too. I’ve taken so much, and yet, I’m the one who’s lost everything.
I want to be angry at how much she loves him. I also want to tell her he’s not capable of love, but I saw the way he looked at her. After seeing how he shoved her out of the way, standing in the line of fire to save her, I’d be lying if I denied my brother’s love for this woman.
“I will tell you as soon as there’s an update.” I turn away, not wanting to see her cry because her tears don’t fill me with happiness anymore. The emotions twisting inside me feel like a fucking tornado ripping through a town, leaving nothing in its wake. I’ll be nothing.
The thought consumes me, and as I run my fingers through my hair, I tug fiercely at the strands. The sting grounding me to the moment. I need the pain to remind myself of what’s real. For a long time, I would get lost in memories, in things people have said, stories I’ve heard, and I found that pain was the only way to remain grounded.
Agony reveals truth.
No matter how bitter it tastes.
“Darius,” Scarlett calls to me, her voice like silk along my skin. “There’s no reason for you to hate me, or Lycan. We would be here for you no matter what.”
My blood simmers, and I have to swallow down the rage that’s slowly fueling itself through me. The need to cause pain overwhelms me, and before I have time to think, I spin on my heel. My hand latches onto the thick red waves that feel like satin in my fist. A gasp of surprise falls from Scarlett’s lips, and I find myself wanting to steal the sound with my mouth.
How the fuck am I so attracted to her? Lured in like a fish in a net.
She’s a siren.
“Don’t talk to me like I’m nothing more than a wayward child you’re attempting to placate.” My voice is gruff, the thickness in my throat choking the words from me. “You’re here, taken from my brother as revenge. I couldn’t steal the house, his money, or the fucking club from him. But you, he feels something for you, and this will hurt him more than any worldly possession. Emotion is weakness,” I inform her, something I’d learned a long time ago. “Never mistake the war raging within me, for goodness. There is nothing good inside me. Not anymore.”
Her gaze burns with frustration. “You’re a lost fucking cause,” Scarlett bites out. “I wasn’t trying to placate you,” she grits. “I’m someone who offers kindness when I see it’s needed. I’m human. I grew up without love in my life. My family planned my future since I was a kid, and I can see pain when I look at you. The same pain Lycan lives with, and the exact agony that I have long since learned to master.”
Her words shock me. I didn’t think my brother felt anything. He never did when we were younger. When our mother died, or rather, when his mother died, he didn’t shed a tear. There were times I wondered if he even realized she wasn’t coming back.
Emotions are weakness.
At least that’s what our father told us. It was something we feared because if we had any feelings at all, he would slam it right out of us.
“Any affection you hold for someone is something they can use against you,” Dad says, his cigar sitting between his lips. He lost mom, but there’s a darkness that resides in him now, and I can’t put it down to mourning. “Never allow anyone to have that power over you,” he warns before taking a long drag on the fat Cuban which billows smoke from the red-tipped cherry.