When Dad turns to Mom, I can see the guilt written all over his face. “I didn’t make the best decisions. There are things that I hid from you to keep you safe. I couldn’t let you get caught up in the grave that I’ve dug for myself.”
“I don’t understand.” Mom shakes her head, and for a moment, I feel sorry for her. I want so much to go to him, to tell them I don’t know if I can ever forgive him, but then he glances at me.
“I signed your hand in marriage to Lycan because I knew he’d keep you safe.”
“From you?” I ask, arching a brow, folding my arms across my chest, as if to keep any lies away. But the barrier won’t hide my heart from the pain. “Or from Gran’s lies? What is that you were trying to save me from?” This time, I take a step closer, my stomach coiling as unease settles in my gut. I’ve learned so much about my family, I’m not sure anything else can hurt as much as learning my grandfather was a monster, and my grandmother hid it from us.
“I’m an addict. I do things.” He shakes his head, and for a long moment, I hold my breath. “When I first walked into Heaven, Lycan gave me a place to live out fantasies I couldn’t tell your mother about.”
Everything around me stills. The air gets thick with something I can’t quite put my finger on. Not guilt, but understanding. I’ve hidden my desires for such a long time. I feel his words right down to my soul.
“But I got out of hand,” Dad admits slowly, softly, as if he’s afraid I’ll kill him with my bare hands. And for a moment, I feel like I can, like I will. “I got to a point where I was drenched in sadistic tendencies that I took it too far.”
My mouth falls open. Mom’s face is a picture of disbelief, and Lycan’s hands grip my shoulders, holding me up. His warmth behind me, offering me shelter from what my father is saying.
“I-I don’t… I don’t understand,” I tell him, but deep down, I do. It’s in between the lines, in between the words he’s just uttered. I know what he’s trying to say, but I don’t want to believe it. If he utters those words, it will make it true, and I don’t want to believe my father is capable of murder.
“Horatio,” Mom’s voice cuts through the beating of my heart. It’s deafening. A lump in my throat makes it difficult to swallow. My father did something. He did the unthinkable. Just like his father.
Is this something that runs in the family?
Violence.
Chaos.
Destruction.
“I’m sorry, Marinda. I didn’t mean to, it just happened. An accident. I lost control,” Dad admits, shaking his head.
“The girl,” mom says. “The one with the long blonde hair,” she continues, looking at my father as if she doesn’t truly know who he is. Does she? Do I?
He nods slowly, but he doesn’t look her in the eye. “Lycan banned me from Heaven, he told me he would make sure it went away, that the family will be looked after, if I signed over our daughter’s hand to him because I lost a bet with Miles,” Dad says, mentioning a man he works with.
“I don’t understand,” I whisper, and he looks at me as the guilt slowly eats away at him.
“If Lycan didn’t marry you by your twenty-first birthday, Miles was going to take you as his. But Lycan stepped in just before he banned Miles and I from the club. He told me if I were to ever do anything like that, go to any club that offered scenes, or playrooms, if I even stepped out of line, he would kill me himself and he would kill Miles. Lycan wanted to keep Scarlett safe from me, from my friends. And I agreed.”
Spinning on my heel, I meet the green eyes of the man I’ve loved since the moment he took me. He saved me from my father, and he saved me from the bastard who wanted to marry me because of a lost bet, and he also saved me from myself.
Lycan showed me what love is. He allowed me to delve into my desires, to live out my fantasies in a safe place. And he offered me my own heaven. Beside him.
“You really did save me,” I whisper once more, disbelief lacing every word.
He doesn’t respond, merely nods. His hands don’t leave me. They remain glued to my curves. It’s as if he can’t let me go, even if he wanted to. “Why didn’t you tell me all of this before?”
This time, he does respond, “Because I needed your father to tell you the truth.”
And that’s when I realize, unlike my grandmother, I made the right choice.