And he will blame no one for what is happening to him. Ever since he fell in love for the first time and was rejected, he has known that this did not put an end to his ability to love. What is true in love is also true in war.
Losing a battle or losing everything we thought we possessed will bring us moments of sadness. But when those moments pass, we will discover the hidden strength that exists in each of us, a strength that will surprise us and increase our self-respect.
We will look around and say to ourselves: “I survived.” And we will be cheered by our words.
Only those who fail to recognize that inner strength will say, “I lost,” and be sad.
Others, even though they were defeated and feel humiliated by the things the winners are saying about them, will allow themselves to shed a few tears but will never succumb to self-pity. They know that this is merely a pause in the fighting and that, for the moment, they are at a disadvantage.
They listen to the beating of their own heart. They’re aware of being tense, of being afraid. They consider their life and discover that, despite the fear, their faith is still alive in their soul, driving them onward.
They try to work out what they did wrong and wh
at they did right. They take advantage of this moment of defeat to rest, heal their wounds, devise new strategies and equip themselves better.
Then the day dawns when a new battle knocks on their door. They are still afraid, but they have to act—either that or remain forever lying on the ground. They get up and face their opponent, remembering the suffering they have endured and which they no longer wish to endure.
Their previous defeat means that this time they must win, because they don’t want to suffer the same pain again.
But if victory is not theirs this time, it will be the next time. And if not the next time, then the time after that. The important thing is to get back on your feet.
Only he who gives up is defeated. Everyone else is victorious.
And the day will come when those difficult moments are merely stories to be told proudly to those who will listen. And they will listen respectfully and learn three important things:
Wait patiently for the right moment to act.
Do not let the next opportunity slip by you.
Take pride in your scars.
Scars are medals branded on the flesh, and your enemies will be frightened by them because they are proof of your long experience of battle. Often this will lead them to seek dialogue and avoid conflict.
Scars speak more loudly than the sword that caused them.
“Describe the defeated ones,” said a merchant, when he saw that the Copt had finished speaking.
And he answered:
The defeated are those who never fail.
Defeat means that we lose a particular battle or war. Failure does not allow us to go on fighting.
Defeat comes when we fail to get something we very much want. Failure does not allow us to dream. Its motto is: “Expect nothing and you won’t be disappointed.”
Defeat ends when we launch into another battle. Failure has no end; it is a lifetime choice.
Defeat is for those who, despite their fears, live with enthusiasm and faith.
Defeat is for the valiant. Only they will know the honor of losing and the joy of winning.
I am not here to tell you that defeat is part of life; we all know that. Only the defeated know Love. Because it is in the realm of Love that we fight our first battles—and generally lose.
I am here to tell you that there are people who have never been defeated.
They are the ones who never fought.
They managed to avoid scars, humiliations, and feelings of helplessness, as well as those moments when even warriors doubt the existence of God.