Finally, Beck fell silent, not saying anything for long minutes. “The logical part of me says we take this one day at a time. My gut tells me she might never be ready to choose, but I can’t wrap my brain around that yet. One thing that occurs to me is that she won’t fall in love with, much less choose, one of us if we’re not being ourselves with her.”
Seth scowled. “What are you saying? You’ve lied about something besides Gloria?”
“No, but I haven’t been totally honest. I hinted that I’m in the lifestyle, but I never admitted it.”
Seth pulled at the back of his neck. “Yeah, I might have failed to mention that, too. I didn’t want to scare her off.”
“Exactly. So…at some point we’ll have to come clean about that. Because realistically, I don’t know how much vanilla sex I can have without the kink creeping in. What about you?”
“Yeah, probably not a lot.” He raked a hand through his hair. “So…when you took her to the art exhibit, she was into it?”
Beck leaned in. “Not just into it. She was turned the fuck on. I watched her face all evening. I catalogued her every reaction.”
Seth reared back. “No shit? What did she respond to?”
“Well, she’s interested in a lot of different play. More than I expected. Role play, for starters. She also wants to be commanded and made to submit. She definitely acted as if she’s in favor of being orally pleasured—”
“I can vouch for the fact she’s a big fan.” Seth grinned.
Beck glared. “You want to gloat or listen?”
That made him laugh. “Go on.”
“She likes the idea of being helpless and at her Master’s mercy. But bondage, my friend, will be her gateway drug. No doubt.”
Seth felt the smile creep across his face. “Yeehaw.”
“I tied a damn napkin around her wrists at lunch, and she was panting and flushed in under two minutes. It was goddamn sweet.”
“There are about a million ideas running through my head of all the things I’d like to do to her.”
“Hang on, cowboy. We’ve still got two areas of concern: First, she’s not into pain.”
“That’s not a problem for me since I can take or leave it.” Seth shrugged. “But I know that’s a problem for you. We’ll have to deal somehow. What’s the other issue?”
“I haven’t exactly been able to put my finger on this. She wants to be overpowered or forced or…something in that neighborhood.”
“Consensually, I hope.”
“I have to think so or she would have been able to pay her rent in the way Sanchez wanted.”
Seth gave him a slow nod, his thoughts turning. “You’re saying our little innocent has fantasies with an edge?”
“Oh, yeah. I think under that sweet exterior is a very dirty girl. Images of subs being controlled, overpowered, and coerced had her creaming her little panties. But it would have to be with someone she trusted absolutely.”
“Well, I’ll be damned.” He rubbed his hands together. “No problem. A sub at Graffiti often hit me up for that kind of edge play. I’m happy to accommodate.”
Beck looked a little less thrilled. “You get off on consensual non-consent?”
“I’m not opposed to it. If it’s what Heavenly wants and we negotiate well in advance, why not? You’re not judging me, are you, sadist?”
“No.” But something on Beck’s face closed up. “The question that keeps turning around in my head is, she wanted nothing to do with Sanchez for obvious reasons. But River? She offered herself to him. Granted, to retain control of her body. But I keep wondering, would she have gone through with it if he had said yes?”
Seth paused for a pair of reasons. First, Beck’s subject change was too abrupt not to notice. Second, he asked a really good question. “Maybe, since her back was against a wall. But my gut feeling…no. My sister-in-law is always telling me that most women aren’t built for meaningless sex like men.”
Which was why Maggie had often called him a manwhore and chastised him for never bothering with things like dating or girlfriends. He’d been about the hookup for years. Wouldn’t she cheer and clap now if she could see exactly how hard he’d fallen?
“Um, I think maybe we know different women.” Beck frowned.
“Well, Maggie has Heavenly’s sweet sort of disposition. I think it’s entirely possible our girl will only truly respond to men she loves. And somewhere in her heart, whether she wants to admit it or not, I think she does.”
Beck nodded. “We’ve got a place to start, then.”
“Yeah.” An idea turned itself over in his head. It was ruthless…but it was brilliant. “Maggie also says that the more love you make to a woman, the more she loves you back.”
“You’re saying that if we want to pluck on her heartstrings, we need to, um, pluck her body?”