If she didn’t already have total and utter responsibility on her shoulders for another human being who needed every moment of her attention and deserved every shred of her devotion, Hammer might be right. If she didn’t have dreams and yearnings to see the world and live her life to the fullest, she might agree. But she did. And staying with either was unfair to them both.
Liam leaned in and took her hand. “If you can’t be all in with them, perhaps it’s best to bow out.”
Before she hurt Beck and Seth more. Gosh, Liam really could read her thoughts. It was eerie, but she had the feeling he alone understood.
Hammer turned to him. “What the fuck, man?”
“Liam?” Raine blinked at him as if he’d lost his mind.
“Thank you very much for listening and offering your wisdom. I should go.” Heavenly stood, then reached for her friend’s hand. “Don’t get up on my account. Rest. I’ll call you later.”
Raine’s phone buzzed again. She picked it up and read with great interest. A sneaking suspicion that Raine was up to something swirled in her belly. Then Raine darted a pointed glance to Hammer, obviously trying to silently convey something. When Hammer didn’t get it, she turned to Liam, who rose.
Then someone started pounding on the front door.
Heavenly gasped, then turned on Raine. “Please tell me that’s not Beck or Seth.”
“Okay, it’s not Beck or Seth.” Raine grimaced. “It’s both of them. They’re worried about you, and you seem so upset. I thought if you talked it out…”
Hammer leaned closer to her. “Meddling again, precious?”
“Helping.” Raine turned to Heavenly. “Sorry.”
Pressing a hand to her roiling stomach, Heavenly stared. Her friend meant well, and normally Raine would be right…but now that Heavenly realized, regardless of how much she cared for them, that everything between them was impossible, she had no choice.
But she wasn’t ready to face them.
Tears burned her eyes. Knowing she had to hurt them now broke her heart into a million pieces.
Liam’s footsteps told her he was quickly reaching the front door. She had seconds to prepare some words, try to help Beck and Seth understand that she couldn’t be anyone else’s caretaker, that she wasn’t ready to be anyone’s wife or mother. Even asking them to slow down wouldn’t alter the fact they wanted something she’d never even fathomed. If she explained all that, they’d probably shower her with more words and effort and caring and everything that wouldn’t change reality.
This had to be the end.
“Come on.” Hammer helped Raine to her feet. “Let’s let these three talk.”
Raine squeezed her hand and murmured, “Call me” before they left the room.
Behind Heavenly, Liam opened the door. Voices mumbled low questions. She felt eyes on her and froze. But her thoughts raced. Every cell in her body dreaded what had to come next.
They drew closer. She closed her eyes, tears squeezing from the corners.
Two sets of footsteps ate up the distance between the door and her side. Suddenly, warmth surrounded her. A soft hand cupped her chin, lifting gently but firmly.
“Don’t cry, little girl.” Beck. He thumbed away the tears that scalded her cheeks.
“We pulled a couple of stupid pranks, angel. We never meant to upset you.” Seth took her hand.
“I know. They’re not important anymore.” And they weren’t in the face of everything else. But she couldn’t seem to gather the words to say good-bye. She didn’t want to. The moment she did…no more flirting or kissing or adventures or first experiences. Worse, no more them.
Her chest bucked with a sob.
“Angel, damn it. Open your eyes.”
“We need to see you,” Beck added softly.
She bit her lip. Shivered. Their comfort was beautiful and terrible. It twisted her up inside. But those voices compelled her to comply. She couldn’t put off the inevitable.
Heavenly blinked, lashes fluttering open, and managed to make it across the room on shaking legs. When they followed, she held up her hands to ward them off. “I need to know… Does what we have mean more to you than a good time? Are either of you planning a future with me?”
“Hell yes.” Beck didn’t hesitate. “I never meant to make you question that. The donkey didn’t have anything to do with you.”
Seth frowned. “I want you in my life permanently, angel. I thought I’d made that clear.”
So Hammer and Liam had been right. And she’d been too damn naive to see it.
Heavenly wrapped her arms around herself and hung her head. What a fool. That buried the knife deeper in the chest. How could she tell them that she’d finally realized how much they meant to her at the same time she told them she couldn’t give them what they needed?
“What future did you see?” Beck asked cautiously, watching her intently and lingering in her personal space, as if afraid to let her get too far away.