“Her father and his wife.”
Okay, that didn’t make any sense. He was ninety-nine point nine percent positive she’d had a bad dream. It had been a long time since he’d had any nightmares—while inconvenient, sexual fantasies didn’t qualify as nightmares—but back then, only one thing had made him feel better. He closed his arms around her and hugged her.
An uneven sigh warmed his chest, and she sagged against him with a murmur. Almost instantly, her trembling faded. An unusual kind of satisfaction spread through him, better than perfect increments of time or whole dollar amounts at the gas station.
He’d taken her sadness away. He usually did the exact opposite to people.
For long minutes, he continued hugging her, reasoning she needed time for the calm to stick. But maybe he liked holding her, too. There, in the near darkness of his room, it was okay to admit to himself she felt good and smelled good, like his soap but feminine, soft, no fish sauce. He enjoyed the weight of her body on his. She was better than three heavy blankets. He might have rested his cheek against her forehead.
Her breathing evened out, and her sniffles grew further and further apart until they stopped altogether. She shifted on his lap slightly, and he realized he was aroused, wildly and embarrassingly aroused. Shit. If she wiggled any more, she’d notice for sure.
“Are you done?” he asked.
She pulled away and scooted off his lap, thankfully missing his raging erection, and he rubbed his chest where her tears had dried.
A long silence followed. She started to talk several times but held back. Finally, she whispered, “Can I sleep here tonight? At home, I sleep with Má and Ngo?i and . . . I won’t touch you, I promise. Unless you want . . .” Her eyes glittered mysteriously as she gazed at him.
Unless he wanted what? Wait, did she mean sex? No, he didn’t want sex. Actually, he did. His body was enthusiastic about the idea. But mind over penis and all that. Sex was tangled with romantic relationships in his mind, and because he wasn’t suited for relationships, it only made sense to avoid the sex. Besides, touching was complicated for him. Hugs were mostly okay, but anything else was likely to be a problem. It was bad enough he had to give his haircutter instructions for how to manage. He didn’t want to do that with a woman before the act.
He looked at the empty half of his large bed. The blankets were completely undisturbed, pristine. And he liked them that way. He always felt a certain accomplishment when he woke up in the morning and didn’t have to make the other side of the bed.
Rubbing at her elbow, she edged away from him. In a small voice, she said, “Sorry, I’ll go—”
He pulled the blankets down. “You can sleep here, I guess.”
Dammit, what was he doing? He didn’t want her sharing his bed. But she looked like she was going to start crying again. She wasn’t supposed to be sad. Esme was always happy, always smiling.
She covered her mouth. “Really?”
He swiped the hair away from his forehead. This was a horrible idea. He could already tell. “I might snore.”
“My grandma snores like a motorcycle. It doesn’t bother me,” she said with a big grin.
There it was. Her smile. It was important somehow. Muscles relaxed that he hadn’t been aware of tensing.
She crawled under the covers and plopped her head down on the pillow, lying on her side so she faced him. He stretched out on his back and stared up at the ceiling. They were a good arm’s length apart, but his heart threatened to go into cardiac arrest anyway.
This was weird. He’d done sleepovers with girl cousins. This was nothing like that. He wasn’t attracted to his girl cousins. His girl cousins didn’t cut down trees with meat cleavers, wear his boxers, or want to marry him. His girl cousins didn’t run to him when they had nightmares.
Only Esme.
“Thank you, Anh Kh?i,” she said.
He pulled the blankets up to his neck. “You’re welcome. Try to get some sleep. My cousin Sara’s wedding is tomorrow.” His brow creased when he realized he’d never mentioned it to her. “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to, but I do. Do you want to?”
“Your mom told me about it. I want to go.” Her voice vibrated with excitement, and he almost sighed. At least one of them was going to have a good time.
“Okay, then. Good night, Esme.”
“Sleep well, Anh Kh?i.”
For several moments, he was aware of her watching him. He could almost feel the happiness rays beaming off her and bouncing against the side of his face, but it wasn’t long before she fell asleep. She didn’t snore, and she didn’t take up much space. But her mere presence sent him into a state of alarm.
There was a woman in his bed, his life was completely out of order, and there was a wedding tomorrow.
That night, he didn’t sleep at all.
CHAPTER EIGHT