My feelings for Sylvie had completely re-written that part of my brain. I guessed hearing my sister’s real story had helped somewhat, even if it did confirm my worst suspicions about what they’d done to her. At least my sister hadn’t betrayed us for them on purpose. That helped, I’d realized.
“Syl,” I whispered, running my fingertip down the gentle slope of her nose. It had become something of a routine for us. She wrinkled her nose at me, smiling sleepily and rolling to face me. Her hair cascaded across the pillow, wafting her sweet scent toward me. “The sun set.”
“I can feel it,” she said. She put her small hands on my chest, running her fingers through the hairs there before she squirmed closer and tucked her forehead against me.
I wrapped my arms around her, holding her closer. I found myself thinking of all the things I’d imagined I wanted in my life. Power. Leadership. Success. Money. I’d imagined all the things in my life that would make me happy. They’d always been so complicated. I’d pictured moments where I would look around and realize what kind of throne I’d built for myself.
Then I’d left the Silverbacks and my aspirations had changed. All I wanted was to become someone else. I wanted anonymity. Oblivion.
But I was struck in that moment as my arms were around Sylvie and she wiggled closer, giggling softly. I was struck by how this was what I should’ve been striving for. This moment was it.
For as long as I could remember, I’d felt hollow in more places than one. Everything was just an attempt to fill those holes. I was always stuffing violence and accomplishments into them, thinking it might plug the gaps. But Sylvie had gradually filled them all, one by one. She was what I’d needed all along, and now she was mine. I’d already sworn it to myself a thousand times, but I swore it again.
Nobody. Nothing. No fucking force on this planet was ever going to take her from me. She was mine, and that claim was for life. And in our cases, “for life” might as well mean for eternity.
She arched her neck back so she could see me, wiggling out of my grasp. She tapped my chin, then my temple. “Is wolfie in there?”
I wanted to roll my eyes, but I already felt him stirring. Letting my wolf rise to the surface was as simple as letting go. The trick was not to let go completely. He could have some control, but not all of it. I felt my skin start to radiate heat as he rose to the surface and knew my eyes would be flashing yellow.
Having him at the front of my mind felt like being power drunk. The things I wanted didn’t seem to have any barriers anymore. Nothing mattered quite as much as taking what I craved, and Sylvie knew exactly what she was doing.
She met my eye, then bit her lip and arched one eyebrow. When she breathed in, it forced her chest against her pale blue night shirt, highlighting the hard points of her nipples.
And that was all it took for the next hour to be spent in bed with her, devouring every inch of her soft curves in complete fucking bliss.
If there was another goal or something greater to strive for, I didn’t care.
This.
Just this was all I needed.
48
Sylvie
The vampire world wasn’t governed by food times. It was a strange distinction that didn’t seem important until I’d lived it for a few weeks. It made me realize how much my human life had been dominated by the need to sit down and eat three times per day.
I had to admit I missed it a little, but Riggs kept me tied to that world with his insatiable appetite. The man was a bottomless pit for food, and I found it endearing. In some ways, it was like he ate enough for both of us. At least that was my romanticized way of seeing it.
Once we’d settled in here I managed to get my hands on a fresh collection of books. I’d been thoroughly pleased to find that vampires and werewolves had their own works of fiction that were completely closed off from the human world. There was a whole new world of stories to dive into, and between my time with Riggs, Maisey, and the new friends—yes, actual friends—I was making on campus, my nights were completely full.
I’d admitted to Ana that Riggs and I made a regular thing of me drinking his blood. She hadn’t approved, but she agreed to keep it between us, which meant I didn’t have to keep making up excuses for why I didn’t need to feed on the rotation of humans they brought through Blackridge.
Riggs and I were at a stone table in the grass square overlooked by the towering structure of Blackridge. Lightning bugs fluttered around with fat bottoms glinting on and off between the tall grass and flowers. But there were no birds. No airplanes flying overhead. No rush of cars on a nearby street.