“No. Never.”
I shook my head, taking the sheets with me as I got up and awkwardly bent to gather my clothes. “I don’t believe you. I’m going to take a shower. Maybe it’ll get your smell off me.”
I stormed into the bathroom and slammed the door. As if my senses were conspiring to infuriate me, I caught a hint of his scent. It was delicious, and that only made me want to clean it off even more.
I turned on the shower and rushed in, not caring that the water was still cold. A cold shower was probably exactly what I needed, anyway.
Now I had to decide what to do next. Being here meant I didn’t actually need Riggs’ protection anymore, didn’t it? I could go to the vampires of Blackridge and ask them to shelter me. As far as I knew, there were no rules about how long I could stay here like there were at The Wet Flea. I could maybe convince them to let me finally talk to Maisey again. Together, she and I could figure out what the hell to do from here. How to piece together some version of our life again.
Whatever my life would look like going forward, I felt like I didn’t want it to include stubborn werewolves who couldn’t get over their hatred.
28
Riggs
I got dressed and left the room. It was getting darker, and I knew that meant the vamps would be roaming the campus again soon.
There was an empty pulsing regret in the center of my chest. Maybe I should’ve explained everything to Sylvie. Everything. Not just the story about my sister, but all the reasons I’d sworn I would never trust vampires again.
It felt like everything I thought I knew about myself had been shattered in the span of a few minutes alone with her. I thought I was done letting myself care about people. I thought I was smart enough to keep my shields up and avoid giving my enemies a chink in the armor to target. But Sylvie destroyed all of that with her kind eyes and innocent smile.
She shook me to my fucking foundations, and I might’ve already pushed her away for good because I hadn’t realized it soon enough.
I could see how it all probably seemed to her clearly now that I was alone. Her sister was a vampire, for starters. She was never going to abandon her sister, and as long as I was a hateful prick towards all things fanged, that alone was a deal breaker. Worse, I suspected Sylvie was still considering how her life might improve if she managed to get herself turned, too.
I had to stop in the hallway and put my fist to the wall, clenching my eyes shut. The truth of my hatred went deep. I’d intentionally buried all the worst of the memories. Living with them at the front of my thoughts had made me miserable. At least this way I could function. By now, I’d buried so many memories in the darkest corner of my brain, I wasn’t even sure what dredging up that place would uncover anymore.
It was a locked closet full of horrors. Even thinking of it brought the sound of screams to my mind. Blood. The smell of burnt hair and the molten agony of bloody wounds across my back.
Fuck. I pushed off the wall and headed toward where I thought Felix’s room was. He was one of the only people who knew the real depth of what I’d been through, and as much as I tried to avoid this sort of shit, I needed help.
Because Sylvie was right to hate me for now. Everything she’d seen told her I was just a prejudiced asshole. A dumb brute who’d sworn some sort of blood feud against an enemy she didn’t think deserved my anger.
Either I needed to find a way to make her see what I saw, or I needed to learn to change. But I feared the latter was impossible.
I knocked on Felix’s door. The bastard didn’t answer. I tried Fang’s door next. No answer, either.
A quiet meow startled me. I looked down to see the hairless form of Gravy Boat circling my legs. I looked both ways down the hall, confirmed nobody was around, then bent to scratch behind his ears. He lifted his chin toward me, squinting his yellow eyes closed and purring.
“Ugly bastard,” I said.
Gravy Boat purred harder. “Any idea where they all went?”
He opened his eyes, then lifted his ass and tail, looking over his shoulder like he was trying to get me to follow him.
I stared. With a long, suffering sigh, I shook my head. “Can’t believe I’m about to follow a goddamn cat.”
Gravy Boat led me to a room, then started pawing at the door.
I stared at the handle, mind turning over the possibilities. The others could’ve been wandering the mansion like Sylvie and I had been. But for some reason, my instincts didn’t want to let me believe that. I had a sinking feeling I wouldn’t be able to find them, and when I did, I’d learn the depths of the trap we’d willingly walked ourselves into.