“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked Pritkin,
“I showed you the paper—”
“I’m not talking about today! We’ve known each other more than a month.” I had to work to keep my voice steady. “I admit, it’s been a hell of a month, but there was never, oh, five minutes, when you might have mentioned—”
“I thought you knew,” he said quietly. “You never spoke about your parents or your childhood. I assumed this was why. And you told me recently that you had reason to be ashamed of your father, of the things he had done—”
“As one of Tony’s henchmen! Not as . . . as . . .” I couldn’t even think of the words. Everyone talked about the Black Circle as if it was the locus of all evil. I’d seen vampires shudder at mention of it, guys who killed without a second thought, for money or for pride or just for sport—they thought the organization my father had helped to lead was wicked.
No wonder every war mage I met looked at me like I was about to sprout tentacles or start breathing fire.
“Hey, Cass.” Billy floated over from beside the fridge, looking grave. “The mage is right—it could be exaggerated. You know what that paper is like—”
He reached for my hand and I flinched back, staring at him. I’d been able to see ghosts all my life and had never thought anything of it. Or of sending them on errands, asking them for information . . . The thought cut like a knife, giving me a quick stab with a twist for a good measure.
“Hey! It’s me,” Billy said, taking my hand anyway. The caress was as light as a kiss of wind against my wrist, soft, cloudlike and comfortingly familiar. “Faithful sidekick, remember?”
And my army of one, I thought sickly.
Everything had happened so fast, barely a month from some random clairvoyant trying to avoid Tony’s wrath to someone who thought nothing of slipping through time, changing history, possessing people. . . . Was this how it started? Just trying to stay alive, to get through each day, not realizing how much you were changing until one day, you no longer recognized yourself?
Until one day, you woke up a monster?
Chapter Twenty-two
I ended up in the garden on a bench—I’m not sure how—with my mother’s photo in one hand and a cooling mug of tea in the other. It was very un-British of him, but Marsden didn’t use teacups. He preferred heavy stoneware that held about half a pot, along with a healthy dose of milk and a heaping teaspoon of sugar.
I stared at the photo blankly, my eyes taking a moment to focus on the right face. And even when they did, there wasn’t much to see. The photo had been taken at the ceremony making her Agnes’ heir. It was impossible to tell if we resembled each other in the face, because it was a wide-angle shot, showing her surrounded by other young women and a bunch of men who I assumed were war mages.
She was tall—something I hadn’t expected—and she had
straight dark hair, not strawberry blond curls. She was wearing a high-necked dress with long sleeves and she wasn’t smiling. I ran my finger over the photo, a pit of loss opening behind my ribs. My hand tingled faintly where it rested on the surface. I was supposed to be a Seer, but I couldn’t see her. I’d never been able to see her, except in the moment of her death.
Pritkin was yelling at Marsden about something inside the house, but the walls were thick and I couldn’t hear him very well. Plus I’d fallen into a kind of weary numbness and didn’t care. A beam of sunlight was flirting with some clouds overhead, sending down intermittent watery rays. It was nothing like the searing, bake-into-your-bones heat of Vegas, but nice anyway. It warmed my neck, light and soothing.
I closed my eyes and eventually the sunlight started to leach away my headache. I thought about going back to bed, because I was still kind of sleepy. Part of me didn’t like that idea—it wanted to stay up and fret and worry and freak about what I’d just learned—but another part of me had had enough. That part wished Marsden had put up a hammock instead of the bench, because it thought a nap in the sun sounded really good about now.
The tea wasn’t bad. I’d never taken milk in it before, but it made it creamier, heartier. I sipped it and stared at an overgrown rosebush that was in a battle to the death with some type of vine. The vine appeared to be winning, not surprisingly as its stalk was bigger around than my arm. It looked ancient, almost primeval, not like something that should be hanging around a quiet English garden.
It had flowed over an old sundial, eaten into the crumbling rock of the base, twined around the pedestal and almost obscured the top. “I only show the happy hours,” it read. At least, I think that’s what the worn bronze letters said. They would have been hard to read even without the leaves. The slow, steady pressure of the vine had cracked the face almost in two.
I hopped up, deciding that a walk might suit me better. Picking my way down the overgrown stone and moss pathway took up most of my attention, forcing me to concentrate on not twisting an ankle. There were puddles everywhere and the air smelled wet and green. But no raindrops disturbed the surface of the pools; it looked like the storm had decided to retreat for a while.
Pritkin caught me when I was halfway around the house, trying to figure out whether it was safe to wade through a patch of waist-high weeds that had set up a roadblock across the trail. “Saint Patrick ran off all the snakes, right?” I asked.
“That was Ireland. And I was never much of a gardener. I’d go around.”
I decided to take his advice, stepping carefully through a random but healthy-looking garden that flourished next to the encroaching jungle. I met him at the point where the path started around the other side of the house. “What do you mean, you’ve never been a gardener?”
“I think the term these days is ‘black thumb.’ I let the place go to rack and ruin, I’m afraid. Most of that”—he nodded at the dueling vegetables—“is Jonas’ work.”
“Wait a minute. This is your house?”
“For over a century.”
“Then what’s Marsden doing here?”
“He lived in an assigned residence during his tenure in office. Rather like your White House or our Ten Downing Street. But after the last election, he had to vacate it. And having held the title for more than sixty years, he no longer had a separate domicile.” Pritkin glanced around at the genteel decay and a small smile tugged at his lips. “He decided he wanted to explore the bucolic life in his retirement and this was once a workable farm. I rented it to him a year and a half ago, when I transferred to the States.”