“Actually, I have. I invest half of what I make at the club.”
And I had all of my money tied up in Chubbalicious. If it failed, I was fucked, not to put too fine a point on it. “I don’t think you’re supposed to be that together at twenty-three, Brant.”
“He’s obviously not because he’s not with Bausch.” April teased.
“Landell gave me an extra percent.” He shrugged, referring to their biggest competitor.
“I could have fixed that for you. Why don’t you come in and see me this week about your portfolio? We’ll see if I can get you better terms.”
No, no and more no. April had Kieran, she didn’t get to have Brant too. She saw he was making money, he was smart, he could play in her league and now suddenly she was interested in his “portfolio”? Yeah, right.
“I’m pretty happy where I am.” He pressed his lips against my neck.
I shouldn’t have felt like that was such a victory, but I did.
5
After breakfast, Kieran dropped April at her car and Brant seemed to take that as his cue to leave as well.
I was surprised that I didn’t want him to go, but he had a paper he had to finish. We agreed to see each other next Saturday and go out after the photoshoot for Chubbalicious. Both Rosa and Hollie texted to say they were game. Everything was coming together.
“See, didn’t I tell you that you guys would hit it off?” Kieran said and poured himself a cup of cold coffee left over from the morning.
“We did. He is a nice guy.” I bit my lip.
“But?”
“But nothing.” I shrugged.
“When you bite your lip like that, there’s always a but.”
“I’m terrified, okay?”
“Of what? Did he do something shitty, because if he did…” He let the threat hang in the air.
“No, nothing like that. I like him.” But I knew I was going to fuck it up because of my feelings for Kieran. I couldn’t even tell him about that part.
“Is there someone else?”
I should’ve known I wouldn’t be able to hide much from him. We’d been friends too long. “I don’t know.” I bit my lip harder, trying to keep those words inside my mouth. “Maybe.”
“You should tell him.”
“Which him?” If I bit my lip any more, I was going to bite through it.
“The guy you think you have feelings for.”
“Why would I do that? If he wanted me, he’s had plenty of opportunity to tell me.”
“The same could be said about you,” he said pointedly.
“It doesn’t work that way. I’m the female. The male pursues.”
“Why does it work that way? Why is all the pressure on us?” Kieran sat on the couch and I plopped down beside him. “Is it someone I know? Does he work at the club? You know it’s different for dancers. You have to tell us if you want something from us.”
“Brant didn’t need me to tell him anything.” I liked that about him. I liked a lot of things about him. It made me wish that sitting this close to Kieran didn’t make my hands clammy and my heart race like the flutter of hummingbird wings.
“That’s Brant. He’s a different breed all together. None of the other guys at the club are good enough for you anyway.”
I didn’t know what to say to that, so I changed the subject. When in doubt, talk about something—anything—else. “Thanks for agreeing to do the shoot with the girls for Chubbalicious.”
“Anything for you, Claire-bear.”
Anything for me? If only. I bit my lip again and winced because it actually hurt. “Damn it.”
He laughed.
“I’m glad my pain amuses you.” I snatched the remote and turned on the DVR. We had episodes of American Horror Story to gorge on.
“Stop chewing your lips, lass. Then it won’t hurt.” He put his arm around me like he’d done every Saturday afternoon since we became roommates.
But something was different.
I was different.
And he could tell. “What’s this now?” His accent grew thicker, but I couldn’t tell if it was because he was relaxed, or he was trying. “Shagging Brant doesn’t mean you’re not still my bird.”
I laughed. “I am definitely not your bird after last night. It was April who was singing.”
“She wasn’t the only one.”
“I’m not apologizing. I figure all those nights I had to sleep with earphones, you had it coming.”
“I had her coming.”
I rolled my eyes. “I should have expected that one.”
For the briefest second, everything was normal again. He wasn’t the embodiment of any fantasy, he was just my friend. He was Kieran.