* * *
The candles in the small chapel flickered. The monks chanted. The scent of the incense—frankincense, myrrh, and rose—was so thick that I couldn’t smell anything else. Being cut off from the depth of scent I was used to made me feel like I’d lost myself and my surroundings. But it would be worth it if it worked.
Except it wasn’t working.
The Greek icons—saints and Jesus and Mary—all painted with gold leafing stared down at me. The men in their black robes wandered around, singing their prayers, calling in the angels for help.
After the last council spell failed, I left Texas. I didn’t wait for Michael and Axel to come back from their run. Both of them would’ve tried to stop me, and I wasn’t sure I could go against an order from Michael anymore.
I didn’t listen to my friends pleading with me to give it another shot. They would redo the spell tomorrow with some additional steps, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t take the pity and sorrow and guilt over having failed again.
They couldn’t help me. Not anymore. And things were happening in the world that they needed to deal with. Humans rising up against supernaturals. The fey’s growing aggression against the werewolves. Chaos seemed to be springing up everywhere. They couldn’t fix that and help me at the same time.
It was time for me to figure this out myself.
Tessa was my mate. The other half of my soul. It was time for me to find her in my own way.
I went to France first. I needed a plan, but nothing seemed to make sense. So, I wandered around for a bit, searching for Tessa in every face I passed. I let my gut guide me and took it on faith that sometime, somewhere fate would end up pushing us together again.
It’d happened once. It’d happen again. I just had to keep looking.
Eventually, I ended up in Greece. I couldn’t remember how I got there, but Thomas—a lone wolf I met on the road—told me about a monastery. He said that the monks there glowed in the dark when they prayed. Glowing monks sounded like some powerful magic to me.
So, I found the monastery. The monks let me in, listened to my story, and they let me stay.
I’d been here for two months. I’d fasted. Prayed. Hoped that God would answer my prayers. Or that maybe Eli would show up and tell me where Tessa was. That he’d have mercy on me. The same mercy that had been shown to Shannon.
Michael filled me in when I called—which I tried to do every other day. Shannon was back with Meredith and Donovan, paying her penance there. Michael didn’t tell me where Imogene was or what happened to her, but that was probably for the best. If I knew, I might’ve gone hunting.
Maybe that’s why Eli hadn’t come. I’d begged the archon to come in my head over and over, but he hadn’t shown. Maybe I was being punished for not giving a shit about Imogene.
I thought I’d lived my life well. I’d spent my life—risked my life—to protect everyone from evil. But I guessed that d
idn’t matter. Otherwise, why would this be happening? Why were so many powerful supernaturals completely unable to undo this stupid spell?
The incense burned my lungs, but I breathed deep. Hoping that today—this day—something would change.
But nothing changed. Nothing ever changed.
I wasn’t sure if God was listening to me. Not even among his monks on top of a mountain in Greece.
I was starting to think that if there was a God, then he hated me.
But why would God do this to Tessa?
She was sweet and innocent and good. She would argue against all of those points, but that didn’t mean they were less true.
I’d been so alone before, and then I wasn’t. And it was so good. Beyond good. It had been amazing. A dream. My dream.
But now I was alone and without hope.
This wasn’t helping. It wasn’t working, and that meant it was time to do something else. Time to try something else.
I’d thank the monks, and I’d leave tonight.
I’d find another way.
I had to find another way.