I felt Michael’s hands on my shoulders, and I lifted my head enough to see him squatting in front of me. His eyes were still wolf-green, but I didn’t see even a hint of judgment over what I’d just done.
“I’ve been your guardian since you were eight. I know you. I know you’ve felt alone since you lost your parents, and that Tessa was the answer to everything you ever wanted. She was the gift you thought you never deserved.”
His fingers dug into my shoulders. “I watched you train together. Dance together. Laugh and play like I’ve never seen from you. Not ever. Not even when you were little.” His hand touched my cheek before dropping away. “But you do deserve her. You deserve everything. Teresa McCaide Laurent is your True Mate. But don’t you dare start thinking that we’ve lost her when we haven’t. She’s out there fighting. Be ready for her to come home. Be ready to fight for her. Because she’s going to need you.”
“Did you see this? Did you know that something would happen?” He had visions of Tessa. He’d told me to stay at St. Ailbe’s when I’d been ready to leave. I was about to join one of the packs of Cazadores, but he told me if I stayed, I’d find my true happiness.
So I stayed, and two years later, Tessa showed up.
I’ll never forget the day I saw her peeking through the screen door of her parents’ house. Her hair in a messy bun. Wearing a pair of tight jeans, flip-flops, and a loose tank that had a smudge of Cheeto powder on it. So tiny and beautiful and fragile.
From that first look between us, I’d felt the start of our bond. It was a barely there whisper of what it would turn into, but it’d been enough to give me a peek into her emotions.
In that moment, I was torn between wanting to talk to her, picking her up and carrying her away, and biting her on the spot. But I didn’t get to do any of that.
Michael knew what was happening. He warned me to court her slowly. She was human, and he wanted me to be careful.
But my wolf had other ideas.
I had other ideas.
I couldn’t stop myself from patrolling her house while she slept to make sure she was okay because the bond was stronger when I was closer. I couldn’t stop myself from following her wherever she went. I was addicted, and every time she spoke—every time she revealed a little more about herself—I knew she was the one for me. From the second I saw her to when she sang her favorite Nine Inch Nails track, to seeing her strength as she learned to fight, to when she learned the depth of the magic within her, to when she fought against unspeakable evil—every day I learned something new about Tessa, and every day I fell more in love with her.
“Did you see this happening? Did you know that she was in danger?” I asked again. I had to know if he’d kept this from me. I had to know if this was something that I could’ve stopped or prevented or protected her from.
“No. Dastien. No. I never had visions like Tessa does, but I know things in my gut. It’s more than instinct. I knew something bad would happen that night, but I thought the vampires…I thought that was it. I went to look for more because it didn’t seem like it was enough for the feeling that she was in danger. I patrolled the area for signs of another attack, but by the time I came back to tell you that something else was coming, you were already gone.”
He didn’t know. That was something at least. I wanted to blame him, but there was no one to blame except the people that took her.
“But I know Tessa will come home. It might take some time. Just don’t make me lock you up again. I need your help finding her.”
I knew I needed to get control again, but it was so hard when I couldn’t feel anything but the emptiness where my mate bond had been. I needed something to focus on. “I need a plan. I need hope. Because I don’t—I can’t—”
“Then, if you’re done freaking out, we have a job to do. I have a list of places we need to go.” Michael stood from the floor. “Helen is first.”
Cosette’s mother was the queen of the Lunar Court, the most powerful of all the fey courts. But we weren’t exactly on the best of terms with the fey right now. “And if she doesn’t know anything? If she won’t tell us anything?”
“Then we keep looking, and we never give up. I don’t have this school anymore. I don’t have students. But I have you.” He squeezed my shoulder. “I know I’m not your father, but you are my son. I’m here. I won’t leave you until we find her.”
I rose from my spot on the floor. Michael had a plan. I’d focus on that. “When do we see Helen?”
He stared at me for a second, as if he were studying my level of control.
What control? I stood and stared back at him, trying to ignore the destroyed room around me. I’d lost control again. I’d done exactly what Tessa told me not to do. But that ended now.
I would be strong for my mate for as long as she needed me to be.
“Good.” Michael nodded. “Go eat. I’ll keep watch on Axel. As soon as he wakes up, we can—”
“I don’t need to eat. I’ll get Lucas to watch Axel. If Van is ready, we can go—”
“A hungry wolf doesn’t think straight. Doesn’t act right. You need food if you’re going to deal with the fey.” His lips firmed as he stared at me. “I can make it a command.”
“No.” I didn’t trust myself. If he forced my compliance, my wolf would fight. My other half wanted a target. Any target would do. Even Michael.
I got up and went to the dining hall. And I ate.
I ate for fuel.