“Yes.” I hoped that was true, but Eli’s parting words had left me terrified.
“You shut down on me last night, and I didn’t like it at all.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.” I just needed a second to catch my breath.
“I know. I was there, listening in on your thoughts. What Eli said really did a number on you.”
It really did. “I just couldn’t stop thinking about what he said, and how this whole thing with the demon seemed so hopeless and…” What cost would I pay to save everyone? I didn’t even want to say it through our bonds. I didn’t want to think about it at all, but I had to. What was I going to—
“Don’t,” Dastien said. “Don’t go there. Not yet. We just got home. We haven’t even started to fight Astaroth. And I’m not about to blindly believe Eli. You shouldn’t either.”
I knew that. I really did, but the fear was still there, hovering over me and I couldn’t shake free of it. “I just keep thinking what if—”
“You can’t live your life by what if’s. Only what is.”
I fell back against the bed. “You sound like my brother.”
“I like Axel. Smart guy.”
It was good that Dastien and my brother got along. I wasn’t sure what I’d do if they didn’t because Axel wasn’t just my brother. For the longest time, he’d been my best and only friend.
He scooted closer to me. “Just don’t shut me out again. It wasn’t cool.”
“I’m sorry. I really didn’t do it on purpose.” My stomach rumbled again, and I pressed a fist into it. “I hate to say it, but—”
“We have to get up and get you some food.”
“Yes, please. Are we okay?”
“Yes.” He brushed a kiss against my lips. “We’re okay. Just don’t do it again, please. It was miserable.”
“Okay.”
He slid off the bed. “Let’s get going. I bet the chef will even make you some Benedict.”
If the grumbling stomach wasn’t enough, my mouth started watering at the thought of eggs Benedict. Or biscuits and gravy. I could eat the shit out of that. Or even—
A stomach rumbled and it wasn’t mine. “All your thoughts about food are making me hungry,” Dastien said. “And I ate dinner.”
“I didn’t?” I distinctly remembered sitting at the dinner table in the cafeteria with him and Chris. With food. I couldn’t say what kind, but there had to have been food.
“Yes. There was food. Pot roast with mashed potatoes and gravy. Fried okra. Biscuits. You didn’t take more than a few bites. Chris and I kept trying to get you to eat more, but you mostly just moved the food around on your plate.”
Huh. That was weird, but given my state of mind, not at all surprising.
I was wearing one of Dastien’s T-shirts and a pair of his boxers, which meant I was going to have to find something else to wear if we were going to the cafeteria. I slid off of the bed to dig through the mess I’d made of our suitcases, looking for a pair of yoga pants. We hadn’t had time to unpack and I’d pretty much taken all of my clothes with me on our honeymoon.
I finally found a pair of pants that didn’t smell and grabbed one of the screen-printed T-shirts I’d made myself. “I’ll be ready in five,” I said to Dastien, but he hadn’t gotten up yet. “What are you waiting for?”
“Nothing. I just like watching you rush around.”
“What?” Why?
He shrugged. “If you don’t get it, I don’t think I can explain it to you.” As he got up from the bed and started digging through his drawers, I totally started ogling his muscles. He grabbed a shirt, his arm flexing, and suddenly I didn’t care so much about getting food.
He looked over his shoulder at me and winked.
Oh, come on. He was messing with me? “Point made.” I’d showered before bed, which meant my hair was knotted and looking crazy, but I could skip that whole rigamarole for now. I’d have to come back and get presentable before the meeting but I had hours to do that. I pulled on the yoga pants, ditched the shirt for a bra and my Rabbit in the Moon shirt, and was ready to roll.