His regret and guilt came through the bond, sinking like a weight in my stomach. “It was a very, very long time ago, and I was lonely. I’d just joined the Council. It was harder than I thought it’d be. I was stressed and confused and trying to sort it all. And fuck it, I just needed someone to talk to. And she was there. Bloody convenient, too…” He rubbed his forehead. “Ciara might not know it, but I worked hard to figure out what was really going on. I’d been called away on Council business when her mate and father were murdered, so I wasn’t there for all of it. But I tried to catch Vivian. This was before you could put up cameras everywhere and have proof. I took time off from the Seven and tailed her. I had others watching her when I wasn’t around. She never made a move until I called off the watch, and then something would happen. I even put Vivian in solitary for a while. I interrogated her for days on end, but she never broke. Her scent never smelled of lies, and the pack backed her up. Eventually, I had to give up or I’d look mad myself. I believed Ciara—in my heart, I knew she was right—but I hadn’t any proof. So I got her someplace safe before Vivian could do anything worse to her. Why do you think I asked your father to take Ciara in? To let her be as she wanted and not force her to join the Wayfarers?”
I sat down on the bed as I thought. The fact that she wasn’t tied to us—the only female allowed to be lone—made so much more sense. Donovan had ordered it.
“I wasn’t close with your father. He’d only gained the pack from his father a few years before, so I thought Ciara might trust him. He agreed as a favor, which I’ve yet to repay. But I gave her my protection. I’ve had my second watching out for her mother. I won’t let her lose anyone else. But I don’t have any bloody proof. No one has seen Vivian doing anything against our Law. She’s covered up her scent, not left a strand of hair, and no one will come forward with anything against her. I need three pieces of evidence to call the tribunal and I haven’t got even one. All I have is what Ciara said, and she didn’t see Vivian committing these murders. She’s just assuming a lot of it.”
So we needed proof. I could put cameras throughout the stronghold. I’d catch her. “You know she’s probably causing all kinds of problems while you’re away.”
He laughed bitterly. “She’s causing massive problems. Has been. There are constant rumblings along the bonds, keeping me up at all hours. I’m breaths from the pack blowing up. It’s a right mess, but I haven’t the time to fix it. I’m rushing all over for the Seven. And now the problems with the fey… I don’t have time to catch my breath. And yes, I know Vivian’s goin’ around tellin’ people that she’s my bloody mate, but ‘tisn’t true. Everyone who has half a sense knows that. And once you and I are mated, everyone will see through her lie. It’s not worth the fight.”
That stung. It felt like he was saying I wasn’t worth the fight.
He sighed. “I’ve hurt you now, and I don’t know what to do about it.”
I waved him off. “It’s fine.”
He hissed. “Kiss of death. Isn’t that what you call that word?”
“Aye.” I copied his accent. “It ‘tis.”
He sat next to me. “We don’t need to go to Ireland for a while. If I get called back, I can go without you. Just give me some time to take care of this problem, and you won’t have to deal with her.”
I squeezed his hand. “You idiot. Your messes are mine now. We’ll deal with it together.”
He shook his head. “Vivian’s an extremely clever wolf. I don’t want you anywhere near her.”
I gave him a shove. “Hey! I thought you said I was strong.”
“It’s not to do with you,
but more with her. You can’t predict what Vivian will do.”
“Donovan. I’m a Wayfarer.” I could help him. Fixing packs and taking care of mad wolves was in my DNA.
“Yes.” He grinned. “I’m aware.”
“You know that means that I’ve seen mad wolves and packs in all kinds of distress. Right?”
“Aye. I do. But Vivian’s different.”
“No. She’s not. I was there with the Ohio pack two years ago. Remember when the Alpha went crazy and killed all but two of the females in the pack? He’d been using his power to get other people to do the killing for him. It was sick what he did to those Weres.” I shuddered as I thought about it. “And the Florida pack?” Donovan winced. “Yeah. I saw that happen. That human he dismembered? I talked to him just before he murdered that guy. I know what being mad is. They always trip up. You can always find some reason to call the tribunal.” There were differences in each case, but at their core, mad wolves were always the same. “Do you think maybe you’re too close to the situation to see a way through?”
“I don’t think so, but I can’t rule it out.” He leaned into me. “You sure you want to be my mate. Mess and all?”
“Yup. I’m in.” I pressed my forehead against his. “I can help. Trust me. It’s going to be okay.”
“I’m worried for you. Cosette gave you that bloody coin—” His fingers brushed my wrist and the chain that held the coin in place. “—and I know that I have to protect you from all of this.”
“Don’t worry so much.”
His eyes glowed blue. “It’s my job.”
“You need fewer jobs.”
He collapsed back on the bed, pulling me down on top of him. “Yes, but I happen to enjoy this particular one.”
He was changing the subject, and I let him. It was enough for now. But I wasn’t giving up on lightening his workload. The Irish pack promised to be as much fun as Cosette had warned me.
The feel of his lips against mine made me lose all thought, and I surrendered. If we didn’t take moments like these—when all was calm—we’d regret it later. He moved his hands down my back, and tingles followed in their wake.