He moved toward me. “I know it was awful. I can’t imagine… But I feel your fear when you sleep. I hear you yelling out during your nightmares and there’s nothing I can do. Nothing but this.” He spread his hands out wide, motioning around the gym.
I couldn’t look at him. Not if I didn’t want to cry.
I’d done that enough. It was stupid. I had my powers back. I was okay magically—sort of. Physically. But being in that evil circle—where Luciana called the demon to take away everything that made me me… It had changed me. Knocked me off balance.
Maybe this whole exhausting-me-until-the-vision-came plan wasn’t going to work. Maybe my visions would always be different from here on out, and I’d just see glimpses in my dreams.
“It’s not your fault. It was my choice to go to the coven. Please, don’t…” I didn’t know what else to say. I’d told him before, but he wasn’t hearing me.
He closed the distance, wrapping his arms around me. “I never should’ve let you go.”
“Stop it.” I pressed my cheek into his chest. “I had to.” I laughed and the sound was muffled against his chest. “We’re quite the pair. Each making ourselves sick over something that we can’t change.”
He ran his fingers through my hair. “The best pair ever.”
“I’m going to be okay. It’s really only been a few days.” He sighed, and then his bond opened wider. All his worry and fear—terror—flooded me. The pain of being apart.
I nearly gasped. I hadn’t realized how closed off he’d been. I squeezed him tighter, fisting the back of his shirt.
God. I’d been messed up because of what Luciana did, but he’d been a wreck. I’d ignored that. Ignored my own mate’s pain.
“I’m—” My voice wobbled and I stopped. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.” I couldn’t help it now. A tear ran down my cheek.
He pulled back. “Hey. What’s this?”
“You messed with our bond so I wouldn’t know how bad you’re hurting.” His bond started to close again, and I shoved him. “Don’t you dare shut me out again.”
His mouth dropped. “I didn’t know I opened it.”
Why would he close it off in the first place?
“Because you were dealing with enough. You didn’t need me adding to it.”
“Well stop it. I never asked you to protect me.”
“It’s my job.”
Now he was pissing me off. The caveman needed to put down his club before he hurt himself. “Screw a bunch of that noise.”
He gently cupped my face, wiping my tears away with a brush of his thumbs. “Hey now. I take my job very seriously.”
Two could play at this game. “Same here.” If being my mate was his job, then the reverse was true.
“All right. Let’s give it one more shot.”
I crossed my arms. “Seriously? Can’t we just go get breakfast now?”
“One more round and then we eat. I feel like we’re finally getting somewhere. I can feel it. You’re more open. I know you’re getting there. One more time.”
“Fine. But after breakfast, I’m grabbing a nap.” Between my nightmares and his patrols, we weren’t getting much sleep. “And we’re going to my dorm. It’s closer.”
“Deal.”
Fine. He wanted me to go on the offensive, then I’d give it my best. I’d be back on the mat in five seconds. And then we could go back to sleep.
Or not.
I lunged at him, and he moved faster than I could follow. I felt him through the bond and twisted before he could snag his arms around me.