“The girls enjoy watching me.” Mott scoffed, so I added, “It’s simple. I’ve been out of practice for the last four years. That’s all.”
“Except that nothing is ever simple with you.”
“Ow!” I yanked my arm away as he touched a sensitive area of the wound. “Whatever you’re doing, stop it!”
“I’m cleaning it. Next time you’re cut, try not to get dirt in it.”
“Next time I’ll get help from someone who doesn’t treat a wound like he’s scrubbing a chimney.”
Clearly annoyed, Mott said, “You should thank me for tolerating you. I had hoped that becoming a royal would cure your foul manners.”
“That’s interesting. My father had hoped that stripping me of royalty would do the same thing.” Then, more gently, I said, “Now tell me the news from your trip.”
He shrugged. “We traced Roden as far as Avenia soon after you were crowned. We think he’s back in Carthya now, but can’t be sure of that.”
I could be sure. Nodding at my arm, I said, “Roden just gave me that.”
“He was here?” Mott furrowed his thick eyebrows together. “Are you all right?”
“I already told you, the cut isn’t so bad.”
He shook his head. “That’s not what I asked. Jaron, are you all right?”
Such an easy question for an answer that turned my stomach to knots and choked off my air. Quietly I said, “It feels like a lifetime since this day began. And every time I think nothing more can go wrong, it does.”
“You got through Farthenwood. You’ll get past this too.”
I grunted at that, then said, “As horrible as it was, Farthenwood was a test of endurance. I always knew that I’d beat Conner, if only I could outlast him.” I looked at Mott. “But I can’t see the end of what must be done now. Or, I don’t want to.”
Silence fell while Mott continued to work on my arm. As he began wrapping it with a bandage, he asked, “Why did you send us off to find Roden? Why not just let him go?”
“Because I thought . . . we’d once been friends. It was Cregan who turned us against each other. I believed that.”
“And now?”
“It seems I was wrong. Everything we went through . . . none of it mattered. All I saw in his eyes tonight was hatred.”
As Mott finished tying off the new bandage, he said, “I’m worried about you.”
“Good. I didn’t want to be the only one.” I drew in a slow breath, then added, “If my only choice is between the unacceptable or the impossible, which should I do?”
“Which choice means you will live?” Mott asked.
We were interrupted by a knock at the door, and I was grateful for the distraction. He wouldn’t have liked my answer. Mott went to the door, then turned to me. “Lord Kerwyn asks to see you.”
I nodded, and when Kerwyn entered the room, Mott made an excuse about finding more alcohol and left. I thought he looked a little exasperated when he glanced back, but people often did when they talked with me so it was hardly worth noting.
Kerwyn bowed before he approached, then said, “Jaron, your arm.”
“I know.”
“Gregor told me you were attacked. Praise the saints that it’s no worse.”
“It’ll get worse before this is over.” And I couldn’t think of any reason the saints would have an interest in me.
The creases in Kerwyn’s face deepened. I wondered how many of his wrinkles had been caused by me. More than my share, I suspected.
I said, “Will you call a meeting with the regents tomorrow morning? Gregor won’t support my position, so I’ll talk with them directly.”