We sat that way in silence for several minutes. I didn’t want to speak and shatter our delicate peace. I’d either make things worse or finally convince her to leave. And I was ashamed to realize a part of me didn’t want to succeed in making her go. There was a comfort in having someone on my side in this miserable place.
“I saw you and Devlin down on the beach,” she finally said. “He was taunting you.”
“It was a test.”
“You’re still here, so you must have passed.”
“I didn’t. I doubt there’s any way to pass his tests.”
Imogen began adjusting the strips, moving cooler ones onto the burn and dropping the others on the ground. “I thought you were going to fight him. Even from where I stood it was obvious you wanted to.”
“Yes, I did.” I still wanted to, in fact.
“You can’t bring the pirates down, Jaron.”
“I know.”
“Which means our only choice is to escape this place. We can run from here tonight, you and me. There’s no shame in that.”
“Run?” Irritated, I shook the strips off my arm, then stood and picked up my sword. “Tell me why you knew I had another reason for leaving the castle last week. Do you recall that?”
A single tear rolled down Imogen’s cheek before she answered. “It was because you don’t run. Not even when it’s the only logical thing to do.”
“No,” I snapped. “Never.” And I started to walk away.
“Jaron, there’s more.” Before I had turned around, she stood and added, “I overheard Devlin talking. Roden’s coming. He’s expected sometime tomorrow.”
yes darkened, and I saw in them a thirst for blood. My blood. “Don’t worry about Jaron. We’ll get him too, very soon.”
Anger filled me and I wasn’t taking it well. If I was going to act, this was my moment. And yet something held me back. The sweat on my palms made it difficult to hold the sword, and I switched it to my right hand.
Devlin smiled. “Perhaps you can use that weapon. Then why not strike me? Earlier, you said you might, to avenge what I did to that priest.”
Heat bristled across my body as I glared at Devlin. He was baiting me for a fight he clearly wanted. So why couldn’t I do it? Wasn’t this why I’d come to the pirates, for this exact purpose? Whatever I might do, he deserved it. And yet I felt weaker than ever, as though I was incapable of doing the one thing that might save my country.
Devlin crouched down and picked up a handful of rocks on the beach. He flung one at me, hitting me in the shoulder. “Maybe Agor was right,” he said, tossing another rock at my chest. “You’re no swordsman. You’re a thief only because you’ve got no ability to be anything better. Untying knots is a nice trick, but it won’t put bread in either your mouth or mine.”
Then he flung another rock at me, this one much harder, and it stung the cut on my stomach. “Do you think you’re better than the rest of us? Better than me? Now fight!” And he threw the rest of the rocks at me. I ducked to miss the one headed for my face, but it got my cheek anyway.
I raised my sword, finally ready to strike. In response, he planted his feet forward, his face tense with rage. I looked into his black eyes and suddenly realized there was nothing beyond that. No humanity, no love, and no soul. Except for his anger, he was completely empty. It was much of the same anger that I had felt for far too long, and it horrified me.
Since the night I was attacked, I had been so angry, so determined that there was no other choice but to destroy the pirates. But if that choice meant I’d become anything like Devlin, I had to find another way to win. It wasn’t that I couldn’t strike him. It’s that I wouldn’t. I refused to become him.
Wordlessly, I lowered my sword and started to leave. But Devlin grabbed my arm, twisted me around, and yanked me close to him. I stumbled in the sand and bumped roughly against him. Then he said, “That cave had better be full of treasure, because if it’s not, making you a pirate was the worst mistake of my life. You are utterly worthless. I just gave you every opportunity to use that sword, and you didn’t have the courage to try. Not even against an unarmed man.”
With that, he threw me down on the beach and started to walk away. “You weren’t unarmed,” I muttered, standing again.
“Huh?” He turned and saw in my hand a small knife that had been tucked inside his pants at his waist. I’d pulled it out when I bumped against him. Devlin’s face reddened.
“You hoped I’d try something with my sword so you could use this knife against me,” I said, tossing it on the sand near him. “Nice try, but I’m a pirate now. I’m one of you.”
“If you were really a pirate, you’d never have given that back,” Devlin said.
“I want the knife that belongs to me,” I said. “Not this inferior toy you’re using.” And with that I began walking away.
“Sage!” Devlin cried.
I turned in time to see him hurl the knife at me. Instinctively I raised my sword, using the flat side of the blade to deflect the knife away. It shot to the right and landed in a patch of tall grass.