He let it rest at that, and they sat and drank their coffee in silence, watching a flock of blackbirds pick through the garden. And then Jamie ruined it.
“So you’re determined to screw around with Luke, huh?”
She huffed and shot him an exasperated look. “Yeah, I’m pretty determined.”
“If you want to explore your wild side, I guess you’ve got a right to that—”
“You guess?”
“—but can’t you find someone else to do it with?”
Tessa opened her mouth, tempted to channel the screechy outrage of a teenage girl with a brutal crush. But a split second before her tirade spilled out, she saw Jamie’s face. Really saw him. And he didn’t look arrogant or high-handed. He looked miserable. Tense with worry…over her. Her anger cooled so quickly that she shivered.
“He tried to walk away, you know,” she said softly. “When you told him I was a virgin, he tried to end it. He’s not a heartless user. He’s a nice guy.”
“How can you be sure?”
“I don’t need to be sure. I’m not marrying him. We’re just dating. I’m not a kid anymore. If I’m going to make mistakes, let me make them.”
Jamie laughed. “You’re seriously telling me that? Fine. I agree. We’re too old to sneak around and cover shit up. We’ve got to make our own mistakes.”
“I meant in our personal lives!”
“I know what you meant, but you’re wrong. I’m not hiding anything anymore. Eric’s not going to ground us. He’s not going to cut off our allowance. Hell, he can’t even fire us.”
“He can leave,” she snapped.
Jamie pulled his chin in. “What?”
“He’s put in his time. He did what he had to do. But he doesn’t need us or the brewery.”
“Tessa.” He huffed out a startled laugh. “What are you talking about?”
“Nothing,” she answered, surging to her feet. “Thanks for the coffee.” She set the empty mug down on the deck and rushed away.
“Hey,” Jamie called. He stood just as she hit the gate and pushed through.
“I’ll see you tonight!” she shouted, speeding up to a jog.
“Tessa!” he called, but she kept on going. It was ridiculous to talk about this stuff. What was the point of that? Talking wouldn’t keep anybody close. Maybe Luke was perfect for her. He didn’t want to talk about anything, either.
Strangely, that thought actually cheered her up as she rushed down the street. He seemed to take her for who she was, in all her craziness. And she was determined to show him the same courtesy regarding his. Tessa dialed his number and slowed to a walk.
“Good morning, Detective,” she said when he answered. “Did you miss me last night?” She’d missed him, but she’d felt too vulnerable spending four nights in a row with him.
“Oh, I missed something.”
Tessa snorted. “Dirty.”
“Speaking of dirty, are you coming over tonight?”
“Actually, I’m busy tonight. That’s why I called.”
“Are you trying to confuse me?”
She grinned. “Maybe. I’ve got a kickball game tonight, and I wondered if you’d like to come watch.”
“Pardon me?” His voice suggested she’d gone mad.