“Are you cold?” His deep voice made her shiver again.
“No.”
“You’re shaking.”
“I need you.” Her face burned as the words left her mouth, but she was glad she’d said them, especially when she saw the tightness o
f his face in the faint light of the moon.
Time swirled around her then, a storm of seconds and minutes eaten up by his hands as he stripped her bare and touched her where she was hot and desperate. His fingers were wide enough to make her gasp and dig her nails into his shoulders. She barely registered the condom he pulled on. So when he lay between her legs and slid himself into her, Jenn cried out with the shocked joy of it.
He whispered to her as he took her slowly and carefully. He told her she was beautiful and sweet and so hot around him.
He was as intense as she’d thought he would be, and even stronger than she’d imagined. And it was too much. She came quietly, trying to hold back, but as the joy faded away, guilt rushed in to fill the little spaces in her soul. She didn’t deserve this. Didn’t deserve someone like Elliott.
“Jenn?” he whispered, the words hoarse with need. He was still hard in her, stretching her sex. He hadn’t come yet, and she wanted him to.
Nodding, she rubbed her hands up and down his back, unable to talk.
She felt his lips touch her cheek, tentatively.
“Are you crying?”
“No.” The denial lost a bit of effectiveness when it emerged as a sob. Oh, no.
“Jenn, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she croaked, tears choking her.
His arms tightened to steel as he started to rise up, and Jenn grabbed him in a panic. “No. Don’t stop. Please.” But she was blubbering like an idiot, hot tears spilling down her cheeks and into her hair as he shook his head. “Please keep going. I want you to. I want…”
She sobbed as he slid out of her, leaving her just as alone as she’d been before.
“Don’t cry,” he kept saying as he zipped his jeans and lifted her onto his lap.
“I’m fine,” she repeated again and again as she sobbed into his bare chest, humiliated and exhausted and so, so sorry.
Elliott just pressed kisses to the top of her head and stroked her back until she could finally manage to draw a deep enough breath to calm herself. But calm was hardly a blessing. Now she felt as if she were standing over them both, looking down on the horrifying thing she’d just done. Crying during sex. Like a crazy person. And here she’d been so worried about babbling during their conversations. She should have been worried about having a psychological breakdown during the best sex she’d ever had.
He shook his head. “Did I hurt you? I’m so sorry.”
“No, no! It was so nice, and—”
He muttered something under his breath, but she was talking too fast to hear it.
“You were… I loved it. It’s just that I’ve been under a lot of stress, and I’m not a good friend. I’m not sweet. Not at all! I’m a liar and I just… It’s too much. I’m so sorry. Let’s try again, okay? Can we? I won’t cry this time, I swear.” Begging. That was bound to leave a good impression. Shameless begging was totally sexy.
But no, it didn’t seem to be working. Elliott cleared his throat and his hands stilled on her back. “That’s not necessary.”
“I know, but—”
“Here, let me help you find your clothes. I’m sorry if you weren’t…”
“I wasn’t! I mean… Whatever you were going to say, I wasn’t that.”
“Okay. Sure.” The distance in his voice was a clear desire to be far away from her at that moment. She could understand that. After all, she desperately wished she were still having an out-of-body experience. Anything to distance herself from the situation.
“You’re so nice,” she whispered in despair.