“What the hell?” she sputtered. “What kind of arrogant, condescending sh—”
“Lauren! I don’t want to fight. I was trying to be nice. Why do you always do this?”
Lauren closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she got fired for cursing at the top of her lungs outside the library. “‘Nice?’” she finally growled. “Nice enough to try to accommodate my sad, lonely life by keeping your happiness under wraps? You’re a real saint, Steve.”
He sighed, the weary sound letting her know that he found her as impossible and bitchy as he always had. “Fine. I’m the bad guy again. I’m sorry I upset you. I shouldn’t have bothered asking. I’ll see you during the holidays, I’m sure.”
He hung up before she could tell him where to stick the holiday turkey. “What an unbelievable ass,” she hissed, squeezing her phone until it creaked. Which was when she looked up to see Kevin hovering halfway out the back door of the fire station, a duffel bag slung over his shoulder.
“Um...” He swallowed and his eyes flicked toward the parking lot. “Good morning, Mrs. Foster. I was just grabbing a few—”
She spun on her heel and fled into the library without a word.
“I’m repairing books today,” she said flatly when she walked into the office.
Sophie’s eyes went wide with alarm. “You don’t look happy. Why don’t you look happy?”
“It’s a long story.”
Her friend cringed. “Is everything okay? I take it things didn’t go well last night?” She lowered her voice. “With Jake?”
Lauren really didn’t want to talk about it, but it wasn’t fair to leave the impression that Jake had done anything wrong. “Jake was great. But I shouldn’t have done it.”
Sophie leaned closer. “Done what, exactly?”
“Just...” Lauren waved a hand. Sophie watched as if she expected Lauren to pantomime a specific sex act. “It was nice. Better than nice. Really. But it won’t work out, and I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Shoot.” Sophie’s face crumpled.
“You were right. I should avoid local guys.”
“I’m sorry, Lauren. But anytime you want to go out, I’m your girl.”
Lauren put on a game smile. “It’s a deal.”
But her smile faded as she moved into the back room to start on the pile of broken and battered books. The truth was that she was impossible and bitchy. And not great at love. And terrible at being the better half. She’d never been like so many other women she knew, happy to be in a marriage with a man who held down a job and loved being a dad. She’d resented the inequalities and resisted doing what was expected of her. And God, she’d hated all of her husband’s little digs.
No, she wasn’t good at cooking and cleaning and selflessly assembling countless preschool crafts. She wasn’t happy to contribute to the car pool or whip up a nice dish for the potluck at his office. She’d eventually decided she wasn’t good at marriage, either, and what a relief that had been.
And one more way she wasn’t like other women? Divorce hadn’t devastated her. She’d felt awful for her son, but God, she’d felt free, and she’d hoped that a happy mom was more important for Sawyer than a married one.
Lauren set her jaw and straightened her shoulders. The chemistry she had with Jake was special. It was wonderful. But there was no relationship in the cards. He was used to a sweet, normal woman. Lauren couldn’t step into the role his wife had filled. Not for him and certainly not for Annabelle. Better to nip this in the bud, and leave it at that, or a lot of hearts would be broken.
Including hers.
CHAPTER SIX
ANNABELLE HAD DISAPPEARED while Jake was dropping Lauren off at home the night before, but she’d left a note. Spending the night at Kevin’s. Love you. Just that. No mention of the scene she’d stumbled upon. Not even a “Let’s talk tomorrow.” Jake was sure she’d meant to be kind, but by nine the next morning, it was just t
orturous.
He’d already gone for a run—wearing a shirt—and he’d showered, gotten dressed and done the dishes. Now he was sitting at the kitchen table with his third cup of coffee turning sour in his stomach.
Annabelle might have been encouraging him to date, but that didn’t mean she’d been ready to see evidence of it. Certainly not such graphic evidence. And he was damn sure she hadn’t expected the woman to have been a friend of her mom’s. Would she think, now, that something had been going on when her mom was still alive?
On one hand, Jake knew it was none of his daughter’s business whom he dated. He believed that. But on the other... The whole damn town was invested in his life.
As a first-grade teacher with twelve years of experience, Ruth had had a connection with almost every family in town. When she’d died, it had been a community tragedy. Grief counselors had been brought in to speak with the kids. The funeral had been a huge memorial service with another private family service at the gravesite. Annabelle had been in college, but everyone had treated the situation as if Jake was faced with the tragedy of raising a young girl on his own. There’d been advice. So much advice. And after a discreet six months, talk of meeting another woman as nice as Ruth.